Obsession: The Hollow Universe Page 13

  For an hour, I tried to go back to sleep but finally gave up.

  I exercised extreme caution as I figured out how to get in the shower on my own. I scrubbed my hair and body quickly, rinsed, and dried with far less production than with the other casts.

  Slipping on what was quickly becoming my uniform, I brushed and braided my hair before I put the soft casts back on. I was shocked at how long it was getting.

  Taking a deep breath, I left my room. I didn’t think anyone else was up but I made a pot of coffee and rolled my chair to the small desk in the solarium.

  Turning on my laptop, I stared at the blinking cursor of my third book. It was almost done but I didn’t want to work on it.

  I opened a new document and started typing. I was slower than usual but the thinner soft cast made it possible to use my fingers on that hand.

  The sun was fully up when Padme appeared in my peripheral vision with a cup of coffee on a tray. There were two others and I frowned in confusion.

  Looking over my shoulder, I realized the Hydes were fully dressed, armed, and standing in absolute silence on either side of the solarium entrance.

  One of them still had his arm in a sling but I noted it wasn’t his gun hand. The thought made me smile to myself.

  His…their presence was like so many other days in so many other places. Only there were two of them now.

  Unlike security people in my past, Hyde allowed me quiet to work, always careful not to distract me.

  I took the cup from Padme and said quietly, “Thanks. Did I wake you?” She shook her head. “Can you do me a favor?”

  “Of course. Anything.”

  “Do some research on sleep aids. I sleep too much during the day but…not so much at night. Get with Theresa to determine interactions and safety. I’ve got so many residual drugs in my system. I don’t want anything that’s not one hundred percent safe for…for me.”

  Clearing my throat, I added, “In the meantime, we need to get some chamomile and maybe an air diffuser.” I met her eyes. “Don’t mention any of this to my parents. Alright?”

  “You have my word, Ellie.”

  She took coffee to the Hydes. As was his…their habit, they drank it cooled so it could be consumed quickly. Replacing the cups on the tray, she took it to the kitchen.

  I stared through the bulletproof glass at the grounds of my childhood home. I didn’t know how much time passed before Padme returned to my side.

  “Melatonin. It’s safe but Theresa is going to check interaction with all the drugs they gave you in the hospital. Some take a while to leave your system.” She put a list on my desk. “I ordered this stuff. A courier is bringing it out later today.”

  “Thanks.” I gave her a smile that I felt. It had been a while. “Still quicker than an oiled piglet.”

  She laughed and blinked against tears that filled her eyes as she remembered the rodeo we sponsored for some local kids.

  A baby pig escaped the pen and Padme was the only one able to catch it.

  “It’s good to have you home, Ellie. I know it’s hard right now but it’s going to get better.”

  “I know. Give me time to…adjust.”

  “All of us can do that. Let me know if you need anything.” She inclined her head and headed back into the suite.

  I turned back to my laptop and wrote non-stop for another hour. My mom visited and I closed the file with a sigh.

  Putting a smile on my face, I turned to greet her. “Hey. Sorry I missed dinner.”

  “You needed the rest.”

  I nodded. “You look like you need to talk to me. One of your big talks.”

  “I think you need to reconsider Hayden’s offer.” My smile dropped off my face. “Hear me out, honey.”

  My voice low, I said, “I will not.” Backing from under my desk, I faced her. Barely audible, I begged, “Don’t do this. Please don’t do this, Mom.”

  “There was a lot of stress yesterday. You were hurting, upset. Maybe it could work. You’ve always gotten along with Hayden. The entire family loves you and with the ba…”

  I slammed my good hand on the desk. The bang ricocheted off the glass room and I shouted, “Stop!”

  She visibly jumped.

  In all my life, I never raised my voice at my mother. That she pushed me in such a way stripped away my ability to be polite.

  I swallowed the anger and kept my voice calm. “When Grandmother tried to arrange your marriage with the Winters heir, when she told you what a great match it would be and insisted that it was the best thing…what did you do?”

  Twisting her hands tightly together, she murmured, “Told her to never speak to me again if she thought I was too stupid to pick my own husband.”

  “I love you unconditionally. I know you love me so much that you can’t always think clearly.”

  I shook my head. “Hayden is a good man but I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me. His proposal was the equivalent of falling on his sword. I won’t let him do that and I won’t let you try to convince me it’s the best thing.”

  “I-I’m sorry, Ellie.”

  “I never thought you underestimated me so much.” The lump in my throat was agony. “I am not weak! When will you see that?”

  Moving past her at the highest speed the wheelchair had, Padme opened the door with a look of clear confusion on her face. I made it into the hall and to the elevator.

  As the doors started to close, the Hydes joined me.

  My freedom, my choices, were all an illusion. Nothing more than a fucking illusion meant to soothe me, to keep me calm. I lowered my head with a sigh.

  “It’s going to be alright, Ellie.”

  I didn’t know which Hyde spoke. How could I? We hadn’t been introduced. The thought filled me with aching sadness.

  I shook my head and gripped the arm of the chair as the door opened on the first floor.

  Beyond the library doorway, I was surprised to see my mom’s best friend Vera with a beautiful mastiff puppy sitting perfectly still at her feet.

  I entered the room and held out my hand. The dog approached my chair and laid her big head on my lap.

  “Hey there, pretty girl.”

  I heard the way my voice shook and fought to keep from crying in front of my godmother.

  I was tired, hurting, and embarrassed. I didn’t know what to say or do about anything.

  Feeling out of control, I focused on the sweet dog. I ran my palm over her silky head and she gave a pleased huff. From the corner of my eye, I saw when my mom and Padme entered the room.

  Vera knelt in front of me and I struggled for something fake and cheerful to say. I didn’t have it in me.

  Staring into her eyes, every pathetic defense I had started to crumble. Shaking, blinking back tears, I couldn’t speak.

  Without looking away from my face, she said firmly, “Give us a few minutes alone please.”

  The team and my mother withdrew to the hall instantly. The moment I heard the door close, I buried my face in my hands.

  “Sweet Ellie. Get it out before you choke on it, honey.”

  The older redhead with bright hazel eyes gathered me in her arms and said nothing as I cried for everything I’d never have and my inability to change any of it.

  When I had nothing left, she pulled back and wiped my face with tissues from the side table.

  Pulling a chair closer, she held my hand in both of hers. The puppy returned her head to my lap. She stared up at me with no expectations.

  Nothing but unconditional puppy love.

  Needing to calm my emotions, I said, “Thank you for bringing her, Vera. I think she’ll help. What should I name her?”

  “Her official name with the AKC is Lady Godiva of Elysian Fields. I’ve been calling her Diva.”

  “You knew?”

  She stroked her palm over my head as she had when I was little. “Animals are wonderful for healing. They expect nothing and give so much in return. I thought when she was born that her gentle
nature would match yours perfectly.”

  Reaching down, she scratched Diva behind the ear. “She’s taken to her training wonderfully and isn’t rough.”

  Glancing up and meeting my eyes, she added quietly, “She won’t give you any trouble with a little one in the house.”

  I stared at her, struggling to explain. I should have known it wasn’t necessary.

  “I’ve loved you as one of my own since you were born and my best friend broke down in pure happiness. You know my children were almost fully grown then and you held off the empty nest syndrome for me.”

  “You’re part of so many wonderful memories, Vera.”

  “Over the years, I’ve watched Monica’s fear for you grow. Your attack strikes at the heart of what your parents love most in the world. They’d give up money, possessions, or position to keep you safe and happy. I know love and fear can suffocate, honey. I know.”

  I whispered, “I’m angry, tired, and ungrateful.”

  “You’re human, Ellie. You’re also a young woman who’s lived much like Rapunzel. Sheltered from the world even as you long to experience what you see from your tower.” She took my chin in her hand. “You’ll be an excellent mother.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry for all you’re going through but so proud of how you’re handling it.” She smoothed my hair with both hands. “Tell me what else is happening. You look like your heart is broken.”

  “Don’t talk about it with Mom.”

  She shook her head and I remembered how many talks we had over the years that she kept in confidence.

  “Vera. I love someone with all of myself and it was foolish before but now it’s completely out of my reach.”

  I told her everything.

  For the second time in five years, I confessed my love for a man I wasn’t supposed to love.

  A man who protected me, witnessed the absolute degradation of my body, and insisted on continuing to guard my life.

  A man I recently discovered was two men.

  “It hurts. In so many ways, it hurts. I’m not sure how to act, what to say, how to be around him…them. I feel like a stupid teenager and I hoped that by now I’d feel more confident as a woman. Despite…all that happened, I know nothing.”

  Taking my hands, she said quietly, “The one thing I want to tell you is that women far older than you get confused, Ellie. That isn’t exclusive to the young.”

  “I wish I could be more like you and Mom.”

  “Honey, your mother was a basket case when she met your father. You see the results but the beginning was nowhere near as seamless and beautiful.”

  Eyes wide, I whispered, “Really?”

  “Your mother was almost as sheltered as you’ve been. She didn’t know anything about men and was one of the most awkward females I ever met. We became friends because I had to save her from herself.”

  I couldn’t help it, I laughed shakily.

  “Not kidding. The first time she introduced herself to Samuel, she spilled an entire glass of wine on him. Poor thing looked like a crime scene.”

  I put my hand over my mouth.

  “What I’m saying is looking at them now doesn’t tell you about the speed bumps at the start.”

  Taking a deep breath, I nodded.

  “Trust your instincts, Ellie. Don’t judge what you feel in terms of age or status or how many people are involved. Anything else, everything else, will fall into place. Don’t stop believing in your own happy ending.”

  A genuine smile crossed my face and I nodded as she kissed my cheeks. “Thank you, Vera.”

  “You’re welcome, darling. Anything else of interest? Other than all the crazy bullshit you’re wading through?”

  “I yelled at Mom after she suggested I marry one of the Delkin brothers who proposed yesterday to protect my reputation and give my baby a legitimate father.”

  Bright hazel eyes blinked several times as she processed that. “Lord. I need to visit more. I’ll straighten that shit out. Wipe your face, let’s eat, and I’ll take you through Diva’s training.”

  When I was presentable, she stood and gave a sharp whistle. The double doors opened and my mother and my team entered, watching me carefully.

  Vera glanced back and forth between the Hyde brothers several times.

  It’s funny how your perception changes when you learn additional information. Now that I knew there were two of them, I didn’t understand how I missed it for so long.

  One hand stroking the dog’s back, I announced, “This is Diva. The newest member of my fa…my team. I’ll make sure she isn’t a bother.”

  The Hyde men approached and knelt on either side of the large puppy. As one, they reached out to pet and scratch her until she was practically melting.

  The way their hands moved over her soft fur hypnotized me.

  Jealous of a dog.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Strong yet gentle. A perfect match for her owner.”

  Again, I couldn’t tell which of the men spoke but the words affected me deeply. I stared at my lap as one of them stepped behind my chair to push me manually.

  I knew it was Jonas because he had the full use of both arms. He bent to say at my ear, “Freedom can be arranged, Ellie. Whatever you need, we’ll make it happen. Don’t take off without us. Alright?”

  I nodded.

  Straightening, he pushed me to the dining room. His twin walked beside me and Diva trotted happily on the other side with an occasional exuberant puppy bounce.

  As we gathered around the table for lunch, the Hydes took places on either side of me after placing me carefully in a padded chair.

  I tried to hide my shock.

  Even when I thought Hyde was one man, he never sat beside me during meals at my parents’ home. My face felt warm but I ignored it.

  If I stared at my water glass and allowed my eyes to lose focus, I could see them both in my peripheral vision. Part of me – the young and foolish part – imagined Hyde was mine.

  Both of them.

  Diva rested her head on top of my good foot under the table. For a little while, my unusual life felt almost normal.

  I shook off the daydream and ate as much as I could of the baby greens and salmon placed in front of me. Si brought me a cup of tea and I drank it.

  I dealt with the gradually building pain and pretended it didn’t cause sweat to break out on my body.

  Interacting with my mother was almost impossible. The strain from our earlier argument hung over me in a way that was unfamiliar.

  After half an hour of trying to sit calmly and pretend everything was fine, I reached for my water glass with a shaking hand.

  I knocked it over.

  Hyde caught it before it did more than splash the tablecloth and I returned my hand to my lap.

  Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes and breathed through the shooting pain from my hip to my shin.

  “I-I need to lie down. I’m sorry.”

  The Hydes instantly stood and pulled out my chair. Sliding his arms under my thighs caused me to gasp in agony.

  My voice shaking, I whispered, “Do it fast.”

  A second later, I was lowered carefully to the wheelchair. Leaning heavily on the arm, I tried to smile as if everything was fine. “Vera, thank you for bringing the puppy. Can you, will you text me her basic commands?”

  My godmother stood and walked around the table to sit in my vacated chair. She took my hand. “Stop acting like you’re not allowed to be pissed off at the fucking pain or I’m going to annoy you until you scream this place down. Is there nothing you can take to manage it, Ellie?”

  “I…nothing safe. No.” Sitting up straight, I whispered, “It sneaks up on me.”

  “No, honey. You fake it for our benefit. You’ve barely been able to sit up.” She stroked my hair away from my face. “For the next week, don’t leave your suite. Get Si to make those dumplings you love, sleep as much as you need, and breathe.”

  Turning to look at my mot
her, Vera added, “Come stay with me for a few days while Sam is traveling, Monica.”

  “But…” my mother began.

  “Pack your shit and let’s get out of her hair. Ellie is wounded and vulnerable. Your hovering doesn’t help. Let her fight it. She’s goddamn strong enough if you give her the room.”

  Sighing heavily, my mother walked around the table to me. “I love you, Elliana.”

  “I know, Mom. I love you, too.”

  “I know you’re strong, honey. Seeing you like this…knowing how much you hurt, I want to fix it but,” she smiled with tears in her eyes, “I can’t. I feel powerless.”

  “I’ll beat it. I’ll get to the other side but I won’t make choices about the rest of my life based on pain, fear, and confusion I feel now. Now is temporary…and I’ll survive it.” Gritting my teeth, I reached for her hand. “I know you mean well.”

  She bent to kiss me and I inhaled carefully. “I need to rest. Stay with Vera and I’ll see you in a few days. Swim, drink margaritas, and talk dirty. It’ll be good for you.”

  Sitting beside my godmother, my mom watched as Hyde removed my shaking hand from the controls and pushed me from the room.

  The moment we were out of sight of the dining area, I crumpled in my seat with a soft moan.

  Padme murmured, “Too much. You need rest.”

  In my bedroom, my assistant pulled back the blankets and Hyde lifted me from the wheelchair carefully. The moment I was lying down, I turned my head with a whimper to keep from looking at anyone.

  “I’ll sleep. It will be better in a while.” I think I said the words to convince myself as much as my team. “Th-thank you.”

  Too tired to fight sleep, I heard Hyde whistle for Diva. She stretched out beside me on the bed and I smiled.

  Her body was sleek and warm. I focused on the feel of her fur under my hand. I said tearfully, “Good girl. Good girl.”

  “We’ll be right outside, Ellie.”

  I think I hummed a response. I listened to the soft cadence of Diva’s breathing until my eyes closed and I found temporary relief.

  My dreams took me back to the first time my thoughts about Hyde changed from a girl’s crush to a woman’s desire.

  * * *