Obsession: The Hollow Universe Read online

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Being back in my own home allowed me to remember the rhythm of my life before the attack and lengthy recovery.

  It was both peaceful and exciting.

  Everything was the same and yet different in all the ways that mattered. I had my little Katie now and two Hydes. Robyn expanded our family yet again.

  Diva had fully abandoned me to shadow whoever was holding my daughter and I didn’t mind.

  Thankfully, Robyn was a dog lover. Their regular outings into the walled garden with the mastiff usually inspired a member of my team to snap photos and bring them to me.

  For the first few days, I worked on reacclimating myself to my office and returning to my usual gym routine.

  We were home three days and I was getting in a workout while Katie napped. Padme was stretching me because I was stiffer after my injuries.

  “Don’t stop. I need to get the range of motion back.” I gritted my teeth as she gradually added pressure to the back of my thigh. There was pain but I ignored it. “This sucks.”

  “We’ll keep stretching you and Bianca will give you a massage when she and Fiaaz get back from Tom’s. For now, let’s see where you are with endurance.”

  Si entered from the kitchen and watched us with a frown. “Stand, Ellie.”

  I did so immediately and faced him. He held out his hands with his palms flat and squinted his eyes.

  Dropping his arms, he said, “You’re crooked.”

  “I’m what?”

  “Your posture and bearing are regal, as you were trained. However, one shoulder is higher than the other. Your hips are no longer aligned properly.”

  I growled. “Can you fix that?”

  “Possibly. May I?” He gestured at my hips and I nodded. He stepped to my side and pressed a spot that made me almost buckle. “This area hurts you. You said nothing.”

  “It’s…I mean, I guess I got used to it.”

  “Your right hip is dislocated. I believe it’s a combination of favoring your uninjured side and childbirth.” He nodded as if to himself. “I need the massage table.”

  The Hydes carried it into the center of the room.

  “Lie on your back, arms at your sides.”

  I did as instructed, and the Hydes took up places beside me. I think they could tell I was nervous.

  Jonas put his palm on my shoulder. “Si doesn’t do massage but he’s brilliant at putting bones back where they belong.” I hummed. “Breathe deep, exhale when he tells you to.”

  “I’ll start at your neck,” Si explained. “It’s going to sound terrible but tell me immediately if you feel pain. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  Si placed his palms along my jaw. “Breathe deeply. Hold it. And…exhale.”

  He jerked my neck and it sounded as if an explosion went off in my body. “Um…”

  “Your bones will thank me, Ellie.” I nodded. “Now roll to your stomach with your arms extended off the side.”

  Working from my shoulders to my low back, Si used what felt like slow motion punches to crack bones that had endured a lot over the past year.

  “I need to touch your hips, Ellie.”

  “Si, I have absolute trust in you. Do whatever you need to.”

  Putting his knee on the edge of the table, he rose over me and placed his palms along the joint of my right hip. I felt him pinpoint the connection with two fingers.

  Then he used his body weight to push down.

  My entire body jerked simultaneously with the bang and I held my breath. He checked my other side, made a smaller adjustment, and returned to the right again.

  One last crack and he bounced lightly to the floor. Extending his hand, he helped me sit up.

  “Let me check, Ellie.” He examined me closely. “I’ll repeat once a week until the cartilage firms in the original position.”

  I put my weight on that side and slowly raised my leg. “Higher than before and no pain.” Dropping my foot, I hugged the chef as hard as I could. “Thank you.”

  “It’s my honor, Ellie.” He bowed. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

  He left the gym and I tested my range of motion. “Better. So much better.”

  “Treadmill, Ellie?” Padme asked with a smile.

  “No. No, I don’t think so.” I was done with running. It put me at too much of a disadvantage and my men by association. “Let’s do some yoga. I don’t want to undo Si’s work.”

  Over the next weeks, Si adjusted me several times and I felt physically more like myself than I had in a long time. He continued to pump me full of dietary nutrients to help rebuild calcium and iron losses.

  I was confident I could return to my standard training.

  During the first several years of having my new team, I sparred regularly with Padme. She was female and closest to me in height. She filled the void left by my childhood sensei.

  Occasionally, Si joined us and showed me additional movements more efficient for my build and strength.

  The pair were spending the day with Tom so I decided to work out alone during Katie’s afternoon nap. In meetings all morning with my parents and corporate assistant at the main house, I needed to move.

  Taping my feet and hands, I walked into the gym and stretched deeply. Aches and stiffness eased more by the week.

  Turning on the gym speaker system and selecting my playlist of gothic classical, I went through a series of ballet forms that were second nature to me. I took years of dance and thought it might help get my balance and coordination back.

  Warming up my muscles, I smiled as the pounding rhythms of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue filled the room fifteen minutes later.

  When I was seventeen, it was the song I chose for my final ballet recital. My poor mother was scandalized at the time. All the other girls chose pretty, lighthearted music while mine was deadly dark and something of a shock to the audience.

  Around the room, I moved, falling into a song that never failed to make me feel powerful.

  My jumps weren’t as high as they once were. My landings were softer, gentler on bones that had been through enough. I didn’t dare attempt pointe after so many years.

  The sweat poured from my skin as I focused on nothing but the music. As it crested, I leapt, my arms wide, and stuck the landing.

  Proud of myself, I jumped when applause came from the door. Beside the Hydes were my parents, Bianca, Fiaaz, and Robyn holding my daughter.

  I wondered how long they’d been watching.

  Folding my hands in front of me, I said, “Hello.”

  “As stunning as you always were, honey. I love seeing you dance.” Mom walked across the mats and hugged me tight.

  “I’m disgusting. All sweaty, Mom.”

  “Hush.” My dad kissed my damp hair and said, “Go shower. We came by to see Katie and heard the music.”

  I kissed my little girl and went upstairs. I took my time showering and changing into a sundress and sandals. Then I went to the kitchen to help Si with dinner.

  I felt incredible. I felt like me again.

  * * *

  My parents didn’t stay to eat with us. They had a gala to attend and sadly handed Katie to Robyn as I walked them to the door where their own security waited.

  “Come for brunch tomorrow,” I said softly.

  Nodding, they hugged me tight and I watched them drive away.

  I made an announcement over the intercom an hour later that dinner was served.

  Sitting at our long table with every member of my team, I made a toast, “To starting fresh.” I took a long sip of my wine and sighed in pleasure. “And a well-stocked wine cellar.”

  Diva casually licked the top of my foot with her big tongue.

  After that, the conversation flew. I watched them happily, content to listen and comment now and again. Their decade of history was obvious and I never tired of the stories they told of their pasts.

  They trusted one another and I trusted them.

  Robyn
was the first to turn in, taking the baby upstairs after I snuggled Katie and whispered for her to have sweet dreams. My big silly dog followed them.

  Fiaaz and Bianca stood and announced they were going for a drive. I liked the way they looked at each other. Friends, co-workers, and lovers, I was almost certain.

  Si and Padme were involved in a quiet discussion at the opposite end of the table. I watched their expressions and the way her eyes seemed to sparkle.

  I was always curious about the private lives of my staff.

  Was she involved with Si? Their black hair glinted almost blue in the light as they sat with their heads a few inches apart.

  I watched them while I sipped my wine. Ten minutes of silence delivered me into a sort of euphoric buzz. It had been almost a year since I drank anything alcoholic.

  One glass slapped me smartly.

  Pulling my gaze away, I focused on the two men on either side of me. “I zoned out. Sorry.”

  Jordan and Jonas were angled in my direction, sprawled back in their chairs with their legs stretched out in front of them.

  Jeans and t-shirts never looked so good. Their shaggy dark blonde hair was still damp on the ends from the showers they took before dinner.

  My shoes had long since been discarded. I didn’t remember where I’d kicked them off.

  “I’m thinking Wanted or maybe Blade Trinity. Yeah, that sounds fabulous.” I stood and grabbed my plate and other items that were close to my end of the table.

  I cleaned my plate and stacked it on the rack before putting away a few things. The Hydes cleaned their plates behind me.

  Refilling my wine glass, I headed into the remaining living room filled with comfortable furniture big enough for giants, a massive sixty-inch flat-screen, surround sound, and dim lighting with the flick of a switch.

  I flipped through my movie library and chose an action movie. Grabbing a cashmere throw blanket, I threw myself into my favorite corner and got comfortable.

  When I was settled, the Hydes took seats on either side of me. Placing their guns on the couch cushions beside them, I laughed at how much my own life resembled an action movie.

  Halfway through Wanted, despite it being one of my favorites, I started to nod off. They offered to help me upstairs but I told them I wasn’t tired.

  I wanted to stay where I was. Having them close and relaxed didn’t happen often and I wasn’t ready for it to end.

  I don’t remember falling asleep but I must have gone out hard.

  My den was dark except for the screensaver on the television and at first, I wasn’t sure where I was.

  I was warm and comfortable. It hadn’t been a night terror that woke me. It was the unfamiliar sense of complete safety despite the darkness.

  As my eyes adjusted to the pale light, I realized my head was on Jordan’s lap. His hands were in my hair and curled around my hip. Jonas was sealed to the front of my body, his arms loosely holding me to him.

  I had one arm curled under and around Jordan’s thigh, the other curled around Jonas’s waist.

  Even fully dressed, I could feel the heat coming off their bodies. They smelled fantastic, like sunshine with a hint of sandalwood.

  As the full impact of where I was and what position I was in with my two closest bodyguards hit me, for an instant, I stiffened, unsure what to do.

  They positioned themselves to protect me in the open space of the first floor.

  I asked myself what was wrong with enjoying a rare moment of warmth from two human beings I both liked and trusted with everything inside myself?

  These men would never hurt me. The hurt I carried around in my heart was a result of my own immaturity and stupidity.

  I didn’t want to lose the incredible sensations yet.

  Long before my attack I was considered an untouchable ice queen. Too rich and pure for anyone to really get close to…for anyone to love.

  I never wanted that. I never meant to exist apart from the rest of the world. I craved touch, contact, and connection.

  Life now was different than before. I was no longer pure and I didn’t want just anyone to touch me.

  Most people scared me, most touch felt foreign.

  I wanted these men to touch me and I desperately wanted to touch them back. I craved contact with them like air.

  They were sleeping. Tomorrow, I could pretend I hadn’t slept between them.

  Until then, I could soak up their warmth, their scent, and pretend – for a little while – that I wasn’t untouchable. I could pretend I was a different person.

  The kind of person, the kind of woman, men like Jordan and Jonas would want for more than an assignment.

  I breathed deep and took the scent of them into my lungs. Every inch of me in contact with their bodies rejoiced in it.

  I wanted to rub against them like a cat but I contented myself with the experience of the muscled thigh under my cheek, the long masculine fingers in my hair, and the long, hard body pressed against the front of mine.

  For several minutes, I stared at Jonas inches from my face. I wanted to touch hair that was gilded from the sun, to run my fingertips over sensual lips, to trace the fine webbing of scars from injuries he sustained for me.

  Afraid to wake him and lose the contact, I held back.

  I tucked my arm between our bodies and turned my palm so I could press it to his chest. His heart beat steady and strong. Some part of me should have been afraid but I wasn’t. I felt drunk on touch.

  Allowing my body to relax, I thought there was a slight tightening in my hair and around my waist.

  I fell back to sleep breathing them in and I had no nightmares.

  * * *

  My house had perfect natural light in all the rooms. Large windows filled with bulletproof glass allowed pre-dawn pink light to slant across the floors and brighten every surface.

  I knew what it looked like because I slept in this room many nights over the years. Today, I didn’t dare look.

  As much as I loved the play of light and color, I found myself unable, unwilling even, to open my eyes.

  During the night, my sundress rode above my knees and I could feel Jonas’s jeans-clad thigh on the skin of my inner leg. I wasn’t ready to give up the most amazing experience of my life. I refused to return to isolation.

  A light kiss touched my forehead as a warm hand stroked repeatedly, hypnotically through my hair.

  “Ellie, open your eyes.”

  I didn’t want to but I forced myself to do it anyway. I stared at Jonas’s face.

  “Good morning, Ellie.”

  I knew I should say something but my brain wouldn’t cooperate. In the dark of the night, Jonas’s face was in shadow. Seeing him inches from me in the light was surreal.

  Sleep-ruffled with golden brown hair along his jaw, he was so gorgeous up close that my mind locked up. All I could think about was hugging him tighter. Kissing him.

  Jordan said quietly from above me, “You didn’t have nightmares, Ellie.” It was he who stroked my hair.

  “Ellie, we’d never hurt you,” Jonas murmured softly. His palm smoothed small circles on my back. The combined effect of their touch was euphoria.

  Please don’t stop…don’t ever stop.

  “I know. I know that, Jonas.”

  He smiled and moved to get up. I didn’t realize I tightened my arms around him until he did the same. Jordan’s warm hand slid along the side of my neck, his thumb massaging the nape.

  I felt my eyes grow heavy, felt a bone-deep peace I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before. I leaned forward and kissed the hollow of Jonas’s throat and registered his soft moan an instant before I slipped back to sleep.

  When I woke again, the sun was higher in the sky and Padme stood in front of the couch, staring down at the three of us with a smile.

  Before I could figure out how to address the completely inappropriate situation, she tucked Katie between my body and Jonas.

  “Good morning, Ellie. The little princess had tha
t tiny frown between her eyes that says she isn’t altogether happy. We figured some mama time might fix it. Between you, she’s snug. Sleep some more. You haven’t slept this well in a year.”

  With a wink and a smile, she turned and left the room.

  I glanced at Katie’s face, smooth and happy now. Stroking her silken cheek, I watched as she drifted off.

  The sound of her soft breathing, the scent of the men surrounding us, and the warmth I hadn’t realized would be exactly what I needed combined to pull me under yet again.

  The adjustment of my blanket brought me up. Jonas stood with Katie in his arms. He smiled at me, “Sleep, Ellie. It’s still early. I’m going to change her and get her a bottle.”

  Jordan turned and moved his legs, stretching them out beside me and pulling my upper body higher to lie on his chest. My body sealed along Jordan’s side, my knee over his, my arm over his waist.

  His hand smoothed through my hair and down my back. “Sleep, Ellie.”

  The strong, steady beat of his heart hypnotized me. I didn’t remember the last time I slept so much without medication. I was disoriented but not stressed.

  That he played with my hair told me he was awake. I lifted my head to look at him.

  “You’re achingly beautiful, Ellie.”

  “Thank you.”

  He lifted his other hand to trace along my cheek. Even the simplest touches over the years affected me strongly.

  I went up on my knees beside his torso.

  He picked up my hand and placed it palm down over his heart so I could feel it thump. Neither of us spoke.

  Jonas approached from the dining area. “Do you feel rested, Ellie?” I nodded. He picked up my other hand, kissed the back, and wrapped it in both of his. “You must be hungry. Si is making those fruit crepes with fresh cream that you like.”

  Leaning over the back of the couch, he scooped me up, careful to hold my dress against the back of my legs as he set me on my feet.

  In one fluid movement, Jordan bounded over the back and landed beside his brother. He raked my hair back from my temples and dropped all of it down my back. He gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead.

  Then they nudged me from the room to get ready for the day. I managed to make it to my room without tripping.