Break Down Here: A Country Romance Read online

  Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out an envelope. “I couldn’t say anything because I had to be sure I could pull it off without setting off alarms. Happy birthday, Madison. It’s a little thing but I know how much your sister means to you.”

  “Abby…?” She took the envelope with shaking hands and immediately recognized her sister’s handwriting on the front. “You brought me a letter from my sister?”

  She was already sobbing as she tried to get the flap open.

  Hey there, Sissy,

  I miss you so much! I think about you every single day.

  I’m sorry you were trapped with that douche for so long. If I hadn’t been your responsibility after Mom and Dad died, you’d have never fallen victim to that piece of shit. I know I was the catalyst.

  Xander told me how you’re doing (he’s gorgeous and real gentlemanly, by the way). His family took care of you when your own couldn’t. I’m grateful.

  We’ve been trying to cloak and dagger a meet for a couple of months but Jason calls every week looking for you. He showed up a few weeks ago and tried pushing me around. The girls in my kickboxing class stopped him. The gym caught it on camera in the parking lot and the cops took him in for questioning but didn’t arrest him…naturally.

  He went back to Reno but he told me he’d never stop looking for you. He said a lot of horrible things so I don’t want you to worry about me.

  I have a good guy in my life and a great group of friends. I’m just fine and I still carry the gun Dad gave me (you’d better still carry yours). I’ll shoot to kill if he shows up again.

  Focus on yourself and get better, Madison. Overcome the years of trauma and start over. I love you more than anyone on the planet. Change your looks, your life, and we’ll see each other again when that cowardly little bitch is behind bars where he belongs.

  All my love,

  Abby.

  Madison hugged Xander as hard as she could for a long time. He held her and waited for her tears to pass. After that, he made trips to Boston every couple of months.

  They thought about setting up dummy email accounts but didn’t know what lengths Jason was willing to go to in order to find her.

  The missing person’s bulletins became increasingly frantic at first. Every few weeks, more information would be added. First, that Madison was mentally ill and then that she was considered a danger to herself and others.

  They slowed and finally stopped after seven months and Xander was relieved. He didn’t like concealing information from his department.

  Her abuser was intent on capturing her but they wondered how long he’d continue the chase before someone in his own precinct realized that he was misappropriating man-hours and resources.

  Madison believed that Jason couldn’t hunt her forever. She was still young enough to start over and make a better life.

  Tucking the letter back in her bag, she got to work and put the past out of her mind. Hopefully, the diner would be incredibly busy so the hours would pass faster.

  She was anxious to see Xander…for many reasons.

  * * *

  The last customers left with smiles and goodnights. Bussing their table, she carried the bin into the kitchen. Reba told her to head on home as she locked up.

  “You’re good for business, MJ. The older folks love your manners and the young men flock to watch you bring them a glass of sweet tea.”

  Madison shook her head and blushed. She set the tray of salt and pepper jars to fill on the bar. “Men like women; it isn’t me in particular.”

  “I know your self-esteem is a little bruised but one day, you’ll realize that some men want one woman and will wait patiently until she wants them back.”

  Pausing, she capped the saltshaker. “I don’t resent men. They make me nervous sometimes but…before everything, I dated a couple of decent guys. I know they aren’t all like him.”

  “Good. That’s an important thing to remember.” Reaching over, she pulled the tray closer to her side. “I’ll finish up. You go read your letter and you can tell me all about it day after tomorrow. Enjoy your day off and don’t even think of working or cleaning.”

  “Thank you, Reba. I sure wish my parents could have met you.” She kissed the older woman’s cheek and grabbed her stuff.

  With a little wave, she stepped out into the warm, clear night. Madison got in the truck and drove at a relaxed pace out to her little cabin on Xander’s land.

  When she pulled up, he was sitting on her porch steps, waiting for her.

  Her heart did a heavy thump as she turned off the engine, jumped out of the cab, and ran to hug him. She plopped down beside a man she didn’t think of as a friend at all.

  “Why didn’t you go inside?”

  “This is your home. I don’t go in when you aren’t here.”

  “I missed you, Xander. You look exhausted. Come in and let me make you some coffee and a sandwich. You must be starving.”

  Sometimes, she pretended he was her boyfriend. That they’d been dating for years and none of the awful things with Jason had ever happened. She liked to think of them going to school together, attending prom, and planning their future.

  Then reality would filter through her daydreams, reminding her that she was used up, damaged goods at the age of twenty-two.

  Plastering a grin on her face to hide the ache in her heart for things she could not change, she stood up and took his hand, pulling him with her through the front door.

  Chapter Five

  Xander allowed her to lead him with a smile. “Madison, you don’t have to do that. I didn’t want you to have to wait to hear from your sister…or see her.” He waved the camera at her invitingly and she tugged her lower lip between her teeth.

  Pushing him down in one of the two dining chairs, she grinned. “Nice try but nope. You’ve been traveling all day and you need food first. We can talk while I make it.” He nodded and watched her move kick off her shoes before moving efficiently around the kitchen.

  He hoped that one day, just maybe, Madison would look at him and see a man she could love.

  It was way past that point for him.

  Hell, he’d been half in love with her the day they met. Even when she fell apart…tired, beaten, and needing help…he saw how strong she was.

  Little by little, he’d fallen more in love with the brave woman he found on the side of the road. He would never make her feel uncomfortable, knowing what she’d been through.

  They talked all the time, more than he ever had with a woman who wasn’t related. She was smart and motivated, hard working.

  There would come a day when the man who hunted her was no longer a threat. Sometimes, Xander laid awake, staring at the ceiling, and wondered where she would go after she got her life back. If she would drive out of his small town and never come back.

  Setting a steaming mug of coffee in front of him, light and sweet just the way he liked it, her hand settled in his hair. Xander closed his eyes, soaking up her touch. He was careful not to touch her too much so when she reached out, he couldn’t help but wallow in it.

  “Your hair gets so blonde in the summer.” She stroked through the strands and cupped the back of his head. Then she shook herself, stepped away, and went back to the kitchen.

  “You’re getting a huge turkey and Swiss sandwich. I’m out of that roast beef you like but I’ll get more this week.” Madison pulled everything out of her refrigerator and made food for him, adding a pickle spear and his favorite potato chips. Setting his plate on the table, she grabbed a glass of iced tea and sat with him. “Eat. Talk to me.”

  He grinned. “Which is it? Eat or talk to you? I have to maintain manners, you know. Aunt Reba would string me up.” She laughed and he dug in. “You really didn’t have to feed me, Madi. You worked all day.”

  “I like watching you eat.”

  After a few minutes, she got up to refill his coffee. He was distracted by the way her jeans cupped her butt. Mentally kicking himself, he focused on hi
s plate.

  Madison returned with a fresh cup and sat with her bare feet on the chair, arms wrapped around her knees. She watched him in silence but it never felt awkward between them.

  “You look tired, Xander. I hate that you drive so far by yourself. I worry that you’ll fall asleep.”

  He shook his head. “I won’t. I pull over if I get too tired to drive.” He finished the last of his sandwich and wiped his hands. “The suspense has got to be killing you.”

  Reaching inside his jacket, he pulled out the letter from her sister. She took it and read while he ate the rest of his food and watched her intently. Her elbow rested on her knee, her other hand tucked under her hair.

  She smiled occasionally, laughed once, and sighed softly when she finished. There were tears in her eyes as there always were. He handed her his camera and she took it with shaking hands.

  Leaving her alone to go through the photos Abby had taken over a couple of days, selfies from every part of her life, he washed his dish in the sink. She stroked the tip of her finger over a close up of her sister’s face on the screen.

  “She’s grown up so much. I wouldn’t let her come back to Reno. What’s her boyfriend like?” She glanced over her shoulder at him in front of the kitchen sink.

  “He’s a good guy, Madi. Treats her gentle and respectful.” He winked. “His daily goal is to make her laugh until whatever she’s drinking shoots out of her nose.” That made her laugh and he picked up her glass to refill it.

  She was standing when he turned back to the table. “We should sit on the couch because you look ready to fall down.”

  Leading the way, she settled on one side while he sank down on the other, stretching out his legs in front of him. “Do you like him personally, Xander? Abby’s boyfriend?” He nodded. “Good. Then he must be a good man.”

  “Thanks, Madison.” The compliment sank warmly into his entire body.

  “You’re welcome. Tell me all about your trip.”

  Xander talked for a long time, telling her about the drive to Boston and back as well as his conversations with her sister, the man who loved her, and their daily lives. She listened quietly, smiling and asking an occasional question.

  Having her complete attention without other people around was a pleasure he didn’t receive often. He made sure not to leave out a single moment.

  He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up disoriented hours later, stretched out on Madi’s couch. The cabin was dim but not dark. Xander was on his side with a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. She’d even pulled off his boots.

  How in the hell did I sleep through her taking off my boots?

  He glanced over the edge of the couch toward her bed. She was sleeping, curled in the fetal position, her brow creased, and obviously having a bad dream. The first few days she stayed with Reba, his aunt told him there were nights when Madi had woken up screaming.

  Not for the first time, Xander wished he could get his hands on the man who’d brutalized her.

  As he watched, she startled awake with a painful jerk, the air sawing in and out of her lungs. After almost a minute, her hands unclenched from the bedding and she raked her fingers through her hair. She glanced over and met his eyes across the room.

  She stared at him for a long time without saying a word. Then she pushed back the covers on the bed and stood up. Wearing pajama pants and a tank top, she padded over the hardwood floor until she was standing beside him.

  Lifting the blanket she’d covered him with, Madison laid down on the couch in front of him, pulled his arms around her, and within seconds fell back to sleep. Her head rested on his bicep and her back pressed against his chest.

  Xander was so stunned that he wasn’t sure what to do. Oh sweet lord, she smells so good. He pulled the blanket over them and did his best not to move. He’d never been so close to her, able to touch so much of her body before.

  It was a mixture of heaven and hell.

  Somehow, he managed to fall back to sleep, curled protectively around her.

  Chapter Six

  The dawn light brightening the front of the cabin woke Xander up. He found himself looking into the natural blue of Madison’s eyes. They were fully stretched out, stomach to stomach, and his arms were still around her.

  “Good morning, Madison. Are you alright?” he asked her softly.

  Her swallow was audible. “I didn’t have nightmares when I went back to sleep, Xander.” She lifted her hand and placed it lightly on his cheek. Then she leaned forward and kissed his lips gently. She settled back on his arm and stared deeply into his eyes. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He couldn’t breathe. He barely trusted himself to speak.

  “I’m not afraid of you, Xander. Do you know that?”

  “I would never do anything to hurt you, Madison.” He kept his body very still.

  “I’ve known that from the first day I met you.”

  She leaned forward, kissed him lightly again, and wrapped her arms around him in a hard hug. Her hugs always affected him strongly but getting one while her entire body was pressed to his was almost more than he could handle. She exhaled against his collarbone.

  “I’ll make coffee. Why don’t you pick up Biscuit and hang out with me today?”

  He nodded carefully and she smiled before standing smoothly and walking into her kitchen. It took him a minute to find his bearings. When he sat up, he rubbed his face with his hands and watched her. Madison’s hair was tousled from sleep.

  She is so pretty.

  When he couldn’t put things off any longer, he went to use her bathroom. After he took care of business, he rinsed his face and used her toothpaste on his finger. Raking his fingers through his hair, he felt a little more together.

  She was cooking when he returned to the living room. He folded the blanket and pulled his boots on, noting that she’d even taken off his heavy watch after he fell asleep. He attached the clasp as she called him to the table.

  Sitting down, he felt off balance. He wasn’t sure how to behave. She placed French toast and bacon in front of him with a cup of coffee.

  Joining him a few minutes later, she met his eyes without hesitation. “Are you nervous, Xander?” He nodded, picking up his fork. “You shouldn’t be. You’re bigger and stronger and, if you’d wanted to, you could have hurt me a thousand times over the last year.” She reached out and placed her hand over his on the table. “I trust you, Xander.”

  “That means a lot to me, Madison.” They settled into comfortable silence, eating breakfast, until he asked, “Do you really want me to come back with Biscuit?”

  She nodded. “I do.”

  “Do you need to run errands or anything?”

  “Nope. We’ll play it by ear.” He stood up and after a long hesitation, bent down to drop a non-threatening kiss on her lips. She smiled as he straightened. “Go do what you need to do and I’ll see you when you get back.”

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Good.”

  He grabbed his keys and headed out to his truck, more uncertain than he’d ever been in his life.

  * * *

  Madison watched him go before quickly cleaning up.

  Taking a short shower, she pulled on shorts and a t-shirt. Blow-drying her hair a bit, she pulled it back in a ponytail. Then she read her sister’s letter again.

  Sissy, if I know you, you’re in love with Xander by now. He’s all the things in a man you used to talk about; honest, kind, and hardworking. Everything he did to help you in the beginning, he did out of the kindness of his heart because he’s a good man.

  Making these trips between us, that he’s doing out of love.

  Xander can give you new memories if you’re brave. Reach out and take what you want.

  Xander’s truck pulled up out front and Madison put Abby’s letter with the others. She walked out on the porch as he opened the cab door, releasing the big dog Madi adored. Biscuit bounded across the yard, jumped
the steps, and knocked her on her butt.

  He then proceeded to lick her entire face.

  “Hi, Biscuit! You want a treat, boy?” She got to her feet and went in to get his treats out of a dog-shaped cookie jar on the counter. “Sit, Biscuit. You know the drill.”

  The lab mix sat and stayed very still as Madison gave him the dog bone. He took it happily to the couch, climbed up like he owned the place, and munched away. She went to the sink and washed her face and hands, drying them with a paper towel.

  Xander stood in the doorway, watching Biscuit with shame. “You are the worst behaved mutt on the planet, Biscuit. Knocking people over is a bad boy. Being on Madi’s furniture is just rude.” His smile took the bite out of his comments and Madison laughed.

  He wore cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and sneakers on his feet. Biscuit’s leash was in his hand. “I thought we could take the bad dog for a w-a-l-k. What do you think?”

  Madi pulled on ankle socks and sneakers. “I think Biscuit knows how to s-p-e-l-l.” The dog watched them intently, tail wagging. “I’d love a w-a-l-k, too.” He gave her an excited bark in response and she laughed.

  She grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge as they headed out the back door. There was an old path through the woods on the property and they took it slowly, letting Biscuit pee on everything and explore. The leash was only for show.

  “I need to tell you something, Xander.”

  He glanced at her. “That sounds bad.”

  She laughed. “Nope, just something I think you need to know. You’ve been amazing this past year. Everything you and your family have done for me, I can never thank you enough.”

  “Are you leaving?” His expression was devastated.

  “Absolutely not. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here.”

  “Good.” They approached the edge of a meadow and sat on a log while Biscuit bounded through the grass. “I can’t imagine you leaving, Madison.”

  Taking his hand in hers, she turned to face him. He was a gorgeous man. More than half a foot taller than her and in excellent shape. His sandy hair was darker in the winter and lighter in the summer. It was his pretty green eyes that she wanted to stare into forever.