Run To You: The Damaged Series - Book Four Read online

  RUN TO YOU

  Damaged Series – Book Four

  Shayne McClendon

  Run To You by Shayne McClendon

  Damaged Series – Book Four

  Copyright © 2010 and Beyond Shayne McClendon

  Dirty Little Secret – Book One

  Feel My Love – Book Two

  Coming Home – Book Three

  Run to You – Book Four

  Published by Always the Good Girl LLC

  www.alwaysthegoodgirl.com

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Darling,

  In the midst of tragedy and personal loss, we sometimes feel as if the pain will never ease…that the wound will never – could never – heal. It does….eventually. It won’t happen overnight – and you’ll always carry the scars – but it does get better.

  All of us are a little bit damaged.

  All of us have our scars.

  It’s part of the human condition.

  Instead of focusing on the pain that caused the scar, recognize that you survived it. To readers who have shared their stories and personal struggles with me over the years:

  You are still here. Keep fighting. You can do this.

  Much love from my little world to yours,

  Shayne

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

  Always the Good Girl Publishing

  Links to Other Work

  About Shayne McClendon

  Prologue

  1988-1989 - Age 11-12

  Nina Adams stood in the Dallas courtroom and pointed at the four men and one woman who stood accused of more than a hundred counts of sex trafficking, child pornography, and murder.

  “Those people are the ones who stole kids all over the place and forced us to-to do things with grown people while they filmed us. They picked me up off the streets. I don’t remember how I got there...I just always was.”

  She swallowed against the fear she felt. “I’ve been with them six years. We barely ate, only got baths if we had to perform, and if a kid got sick, they disappeared and we never saw them again.” She looked at the judge and saw the man’s horror and sympathy. “If you let them go, they’ll do it again. They’re sick, violent, and disgusting.”

  The defendants glared at her and she stared at them without emotion. “I wish I’d died. I wish you’d killed me like the sick kids. Now I have to live with all this awful stuff in my head. You ruined my life, ruined the lives of all those other kids. I hope you die in prison but before you do, I hope you get a taste of what it was like for us. That would be justice.”

  An hour later, they were given the maximum concurrent sentences allowable by law. The jury deliberated for twenty-three seconds. Enough time to close the door, vote unanimously, and open it again to a surprised court bailiff.

  Nina had been the only victim capable of testifying. The prosecutor had coached her but she hadn’t needed it.

  She’d been acting for as long as she could remember.

  Seven months later, when the criminals’ appeals were denied, she was taken from protective custody in a hotel with two female officers. Her panicked imagination conjured up possible scenarios as they drove an hour into the deep country.

  They turned into the gravel drive of a house and she stared through the window at a girl waiting on the porch. As the representative of the State opened the back door, the girl smiled and ran to greet her.

  “I’m Rowan. Welcome to Miss Jeffries’. We’re the same age. We’re going to be friends. Are you hungry?” The pretty dark-haired girl acted like they’d known each other for years.

  In reality, they’d only known each other for four minutes, years before.

  When Nina had turned ten years old, the people who brutalized her decided she would coax other children to them. She was the best actress, the prettiest, and she would be able to put unsuspecting kids at ease.

  They hatched a plan and drove into the suburbs of Dallas, cruising playgrounds and schoolyards for potential victims.

  In the backseat, Nina wanted to vomit. She’d been told to be convincing or the other kids would be punished.

  Failure to return with a new actress would result in a death.

  They were turning around to try another area when a girl shot from a tall gate between perfectly manicured hedges and took off running down the street.

  Nina had never seen anyone run so fast.

  She wore a sundress but no shoes, her dark hair flying behind her as she seemed to try to get as far from the house as she could.

  Pronounced pretty enough for the men’s purposes, the driver got a few blocks ahead and pulled to the curb.

  “Get her in this car, Nina. You don’t want to know what will happen if you don’t.”

  Nina got out and walked a little way to meet the running girl, whose blue eyes were huge in her face.

  Nina recognized terror when she saw it. Frowning, she put her hands up, palms out. The girl came to a sudden stop, her breath shuddering in her lungs.

  Nina asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

  “You shouldn’t be near me...get away from here before he sends his guys to get me back.”

  “Who?”

  “My father. Please, you have to get away from here. Run, okay? It’s not safe. I’m not being dramatic. You need to go.”

  Of all the scenarios that played out in Nina’s head about how such an expedition would go, the current one never entered her mind.

  She’d been with the animals who kept her for five years. She tried to take care of the other kids they brought in like the oldest girl did for her when Nina was grabbed.

  The thought of the kids held captive being hurt even more than usual filled her with nausea.

  Right in front of her was a girl who was afraid. She took Nina’s hand and tugged her close to a shrub.

  “Do you live around here?” Nina shook her head. “You need to get home. I...do you need help?”

  It was easy to see the conflict on her face. Saving herself or saving a stranger.

  “Why are you running from your father?”

  “He-he’s trying to sell me. I-I don’t like him, the man my father calls my future husband, and this might be my last chance to run away.”

  “Doesn’t your mom stand up for you?”

  Tears filled her blue eyes. “I think h-he killed my mom. I haven’t seen her since my birthday last year. You have to get away from here. You don’t understand what he’s like.”

  Suddenly, Nina was grabbed from behind and she realized the car had backed along the curb a lot closer to them.

  Nina screamed, “Let me go! Let me fucking go!”

  The dark-haired girl didn’t know who she was fighting but she didn’t hesitate to pick up a concrete driveway marker and bash the person try
ing to get Nina in the car at the base of his skull as he bent to throw her over his shoulder.

  So focused on someone else, the fearless girl didn’t see the other man slip up behind her. He snatched the concrete from her hand.

  “Fuck! We gotta get outta here! I think Bernie’s dead!” He looked around him frantically. “We can’t stay here!”

  The driver got out of the car and barked orders. “Get Nina in the car. Dump Bernie in the trunk. Off that one. She saw our faces and she said somebody is lookin’ for her already. She knows too much.”

  The girl was backhanded in the side of her head with the driveway marker and she went to her knees.

  There was so much blood.

  Nina fought with everything she had to get loose but she couldn’t. A huge hand crushed over her mouth as she tried to scream. Dragged into the car, she watched the girl on her hands and knees, blood pooling on the sidewalk.

  Nina’s last sight was a dark head lifting and blue eyes staring at her through the window in a daze.

  “Little bitch will bleed out. Go! Go!”

  She hadn’t bled out. Somehow, she’d survived and ended up at a home for girls in the middle of nowhere.

  Nina was simultaneously relieved and terrified as the girl pulled her by the hand, talking a mile a minute.

  “Come on. We have pancakes from breakfast. You look hungry. Fresh milk, too. You eat until you’re full. That’s what Miss Jeffries always says.” She released a tinkling laugh and called to the older woman talking to the women from the State, “We’ll be inside, Miss Jeffries!”

  It didn’t take long for Nina to figure out that the girl had no memory of that day or any day prior to being picked up wandering the streets.

  It was a blessing and a curse to keep the secret.

  One she buried inside herself for more than seventeen years as she fell in love with - and then helped break the heart of - her best friend.

  A girl named Rowan Foxe because of a pendant in her pocket and a name scribbled on a piece of paper.

  Nina’s sins began long before she intercepted Rowan on that sidewalk and continued year after year.

  Until the day she met a man who wanted to wipe them clean.

  Chapter One

  1995 - Age 18

  Everything had gone horribly wrong.

  As Rowan ran from Gage’s apartment above the family barn, Nina hurriedly dressed. She felt dirty, wrong in her skin.

  The man she’d been having sex with minutes before pulled on jeans and boots and ran after the woman he loved. The woman Nina also loved.

  The woman they’d both been lying to for weeks.

  Now that the damage was done, Nina recognized how fucked up her worldview really was. Stepping into her shoes, she climbed over the fence and walked into the woods.

  No one could beat Rowan’s speed but she was scared of the dark. She used to have horrible nightmares and not remember them. Nina had listened to every word her best friend said - or screamed - in her sleep, and trembled inside.

  Waiting for the day Rowan remembered...but she never did.

  She’d been wearing a light blue shirt and Nina walked a straight line through the woods until she caught a glimpse of it in the pale moonlight.

  Dropping to the base of a tree with her arms around her knees, Rowan’s long dark hair created a curtain that hid her as Gage walked back and forth calling for her, talking to her.

  Moving behind a tree, Nina kept her eyes on Rowan to make sure she didn’t get scared outside at night.

  Lowering enough to sit but still see her only friend in the world, Nina rested her cheek on her knee.

  “I didn’t mean it, Rowan,” she whispered. “I got mixed up, scared to lose you, and wasn’t thinking it all the way through. You’re not like me. You’ll never be like me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  She watched her friend all night, saw when Gage raced back to the house to shower and change, and watched his expression of relief when he found a sleeping Rowan.

  Party to the words Rowan told the man she’d been in love with since she was fourteen, Nina’s heart broke a little more.

  She felt so much shame, so much confusion.

  When Rowan kneed Gage and took off running to Miss Jeffries’ place, Nina walked back to his apartment to wait.

  He limped up the stairs and she stared at him with her arms around her torso.

  “I fucked up, Gage. I’m sorry.”

  Shaking his head, he raked his fingers through his shaggy hair. “Nah. I’m older and I-I knew better. It all seems so clear lookin’ back. I feel like I just woke up from a dream.” Rubbing his lower belly, he whispered, “I’ll take you home when you’re ready. Maybe...maybe she’ll talk to me.” He lifted his face and she realized he was on the verge of tears. “Y’all leave today and I ruined everything.”

  Uncertain how to comfort an emotional man, Nina used his bathroom to shower away the scent of sex.

  Dressing in the clothes she’d worn to sneak out of the house, she left the bathroom and passed him on the way to the ground floor.

  “Let’s go, Gage. Let’s get the scene over with.”

  There wasn’t a scene.

  Miss Jeffries dressed them both down but it was gentle and far less than they deserved.

  Rowan kept her armor around her to the last but Nina knew they’d placed scars that would never truly heal on her heart.

  * * *

  Nina entered the kitchen after she showered again in fresh clothes, her bag over her shoulder.

  “You been cryin’, honey?” Miss Jeffries asked her softly.

  “Y-yes, ma’am.” She held out the letter Rowan left on her pillow. “She couldn’t really leave mad. I wish...I wish I had a heart like hers. I don’t know how to be, Miss Jeffries.”

  The elderly woman patted the table and put a plate of food in front of her. “You eat while I read this. The bus ride to New York is gonna be long.”

  Nina ate what she could, repeatedly swiping at tears she wasn’t accustomed to and didn’t know how to stop.

  Miss Jeffries lowered into the other chair with a sigh. “Well now. That’s a fine letter. Our Rowan took the high ground, Nina. She’s a friend you’re gonna need to get back, I think.”

  Unable to speak, Nina nodded.

  “Let me think on all this for a little. You’re gonna have to let some time pass. Let her grieve a minute. The way she is, I got faith she’ll forgive you. Heart like hers won’t be able to help itself. You be careful in the big city and call me if you get lonely, hear?”

  Hugging the woman tightly, she inhaled the scent of the lavender talc her foster mother dusted on herself every morning.

  “I’m going to miss you, Miss Jeffries.”

  “I’m gonna miss you, too. That’s truer than I wish it was.” As Nina leaned back, the lady held her cheek. “Who you were isn’t who you gotta be. You remember that, Nina.”

  “I will, ma’am.”

  Softly, Miss Jeffries whispered, “Go on now.”

  Nina backed from the room slowly, watching the only person to ever make sure she had a home, food, and protection as long as she could.

  Wiping her face, she faced Gage as she stepped out on the porch. He took her bag and helped her into his truck.

  When he climbed behind the wheel, she turned to look at him and said, “We made so many mistakes. She left me a letter.”

  He took it from her with a shaking hand.

  Nina…pretty golden Nina, by the time you get this, I’ll be gone. I want to avoid running into either of you at the bus station. I’m going to ask Mr. Jenkins up the road to drive me to town.

  I’ve always loved you, from the first day you came to live with us.

  Girls like us react in one of two ways to our pasts. We get stronger…more isolated, I guess. Like me.

  The other reaction is like you, Nina. You appear fragile and beautiful. You hide your strength but love easier than you pretend. I can imagine how conflicted you were every time yo
u went to Gage.

  Knowing I loved you…wanting him to love you, too.

  After what you came from, my only hope is he treated you gently and wiped away some of your painful memories. If he managed to do that for you, I won’t hate him.

  I’m sorry I called you a bitch. It was wrong, needlessly hurtful, and you deserved better from me.

  I fell in love with Gage when I was twelve years old. He was everything strong and beautiful I wanted to be myself one day. I thought he was a man of his word and it cuts deep to learn he’s like all the rest. I never imagined our time would last forever.

  I wanted him to love me once and love me well, to make sure I wasn’t afraid…I hate being afraid, Nina. For him to have a part of me no one else could ever have because I admired him, loved him, long before I knew what it was to lust after him.

  I wish you only good things, Nina. Not because we’re both so damaged but because I believe one day, we won’t be anymore.

  Find the strength to love yourself no matter what. Don’t give your heart away so easily or you’ll get it broken again and again. Love the woman you’re becoming and forgive the broken girl you were. Talk that time through with someone - a professional - and purge every terrifying moment. Do what you love and make no apologies. Never forget how smart you are (not just pretty). Eat right, get enough sleep, and know that even hurting, I want you to be safe and happy.

  While you find your strength, I’ll try to find the softness I crush from inside myself so no one can hurt me.

  I ask one favor: leave me my dignity. Don’t try to talk to me. I hate crying more than anything.

  Maybe one day, we’ll meet again.

  I have a feeling the home will figure into my future somehow. By the time that happens, Gage will be married to some pretty socialite and have six precious children. I think that will be a relief actually.

  Go strong, Nina. Maybe kiss him once for me. Sending you love from a tiny soft place I keep hidden behind the iron walls of my heart.

  Rowan

  Gage handed back the letter with tears tracking down his cheeks. He looked through the windshield, staring at the field and she could tell he was contemplating the mistakes he made thinking with his dick instead of his brain.