The Barter System Companion: Volume One Read online

  He walked closer and cupped her face in his hands. “You would willingly go under the knife for a man who doesn’t appreciate how beautiful you already fucking are?”

  “It was stupid.”

  “Very fucking stupid.”

  “You’ll stay with me?”

  “You know better than to ask. We’re having dinner.”

  She met his eyes in surprise. “What about Sabrina? She hates me.”

  His brow quirked mockingly. “She told me she loved me and I broke up with her.”

  Natalia started laughing and he joined her. Suddenly everything was right in her world again.

  Hudson took her for steak and red wine to celebrate. “Plus, your iron levels are shit.”

  When she hit puberty, her parents realized she’d inherited the rare blood disorder from her father. The amount of blood she lost every month was frightening. The chance she would ever get pregnant was slim to none and she was glad.

  Kids scared the shit out of her. There was no doubt in her mind she’d make a horrible mother.

  After dinner, they strolled the city. They ended up in front of the first piece of property he purchased. A light in an upper window made her smile. “Your mom is still up.”

  “She reads late. Come on.”

  “I was going to head home, Hudson.”

  “Tonight, you’re staying here.” Without another word, he took her hand and led her inside. Little by little, he was renovating the old building. He planned to turn it into apartments.

  She was awed by the changes in the foyer. “Oh, my god! You’ve done so much work!”

  “You haven’t been by in months.”

  It made her laugh. “Hudson, you suck at reading the emotions of the people around you. Sabrina used to grind her teeth when I stopped by. Drove me fucking nuts.”

  Her best friend shrugged as he headed to the second floor. “I saw it. I just didn’t care.”

  Perfectly Hudson behavior and she wouldn’t have him any other way.

  The apartment he converted for himself underwent even more changes. She walked the space slowly, taking it all in. “I can’t believe you were able to bring these floors back.”

  “Hardwood wants to shine. You have to rub it right.”

  “Sounds like men I know.”

  His laugh filled the space as he shrugged off his jacket and loosened his tie. “I remodeled the bathroom. You can shower and grab one of my t-shirts in the bottom drawer.”

  “You want me to stay?” Normally, they were drunk when they fooled around. Right now, she wasn’t even buzzed from the wine at dinner.

  Turning, he put his hands on his hips. It was hard to tell what he was thinking but his voice made her womb tighten. “Yes. You’re staying.”

  “Okay. You talked me into it.”

  She gave him a wink and walked to the bathroom confidently. Inside, she was a nervous wreck. There was a tension between them tonight and she wondered if she could tell him some of the thoughts in her head.

  It was a topic with the power to embarrass her. Natalia was not a woman who experienced such things.

  There was something she wanted…maybe even needed sexually. She didn’t trust Gray or any of the relationships that came before him to give it to her safely.

  The last time she’d fooled around with Hudson was a few months before Gray and Sabrina came into their lives. They’d been completely wasted, stumbling up the stairs, whispering too loud, and holding one another up.

  Inside his door, Hudson slammed her up against the wall and took her harder than anyone before or since. Harder than any other lover seemed capable of accomplishing.

  Her panties hadn’t survived the encounter and they were still fully dressed when he pushed her over the peak and followed.

  The next morning, she stared at the bruises on her inner thighs and it made her breathe too fast. The tenderness of her scalp where he’d gripped her hair made her heart rate speed up.

  Just remembering the experience made her wet.

  Since that night, there hadn’t been a day when she didn’t think about it. She often masturbated to the memory. Sometimes, she imagined she was tied up when he took her. Occasionally, she pretended she was wearing a blindfold.

  Always, it made her come harder alone than she could with a lover. Any lover but him.

  She took her time showering and left his bathroom barefoot, in panties and a t-shirt, toweling her hair. From his chair across the room, she saw him watching her. Her movements slowed and finally stopped. She held the towel in one hand as she stared back at him.

  “Come here.”

  The command in his voice made her nipples harden sharply. She made her way across the wood floor and stopped inches from his knees.

  “I want to fuck you.”

  She knew her eyes were huge in her face because once again they seemed to be in harmony. Her damp hair curled around her cheeks and tickled her skin.

  “Alright.”

  “I need to experience something with you tonight. If you don’t like it, we’ll never try it again. If you aren’t happy, we’ll go on as we have…with this between us.” He took a deep breath. “If you do enjoy it, we need to talk.”

  She didn’t speak, simply nodded. She trusted him completely in every aspect of their lives. He’d been there for her too many times to doubt him.

  Natalia mattered to him and she knew he would always keep her safe.

  Standing, he slid the t-shirt up her body and tossed it to the couch. “Walk to the bedroom.”

  Without hesitation, she returned to his room. His bed was on a wrought iron frame that hadn’t been there the last time she stayed with him. That night, they slept on his mattress on the floor.

  She knew without asking he planned to tie her to it. Everything inside her went hot at the thought.

  “Get on the bed on your knees. Grip the top rail.” He opened his closet and removed two ties. Approaching her from the side, her eyes flicked to his hands and back to his face. “I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you, Natalia.”

  “I know.” She faced the wall above the bed and held the rail until her knuckles were white. “I trust you, Hudson. I hope you don’t think badly of me…after.”

  Hudson didn’t respond which was a response in and of itself. She knew he found the very thought ridiculous and she wanted to smile.

  He secured her to the frame and removed her panties. He took his time stripping away his clothes and watched her. She didn’t move but soaked up the sexual tension as he made her wait.

  From the bedside table, he removed lubricant and she noted his hesitation as he reached for condoms.

  “Are you still on birth control?” She nodded. “Can I take you without a condom?” Her eyes met his and she nodded again, slower this time, wondering if it would feel different. “I’m clean and if you should ever end up pregnant, I’ll take care of you.”

  Swallowing hard, she turned back to the wall.

  “Spread your legs.”

  She did and when he stood on the bed, she stared at his cock. He was rigid. The shaft jutted from his body, the head was almost purple, and his balls were drawn tight.

  “Open your mouth.”

  Her eyes lifted as her lips parted and he fisted her hair. Holding her still, he started with shallow thrusts, gradually increasing the depth and force as he fucked between her lips.

  When her eyes began to water, he slowed and pulled back. She knew he felt bad, that he thought he hurt her.

  “Breathe through your nose. I’ll be more careful.”

  The first climax took less than ten minutes. Years later, when he perfected his control, he could easily last half an hour. Longer than any man she would ever fuck. When he softened slightly, he thrust between her lips more firmly and she gained confidence in the act she hadn’t performed often.

  Over the years, she would perfect the art of taking his cock anywhere in her body.

  Pulling from her, he dropped to his knees and kissed her h
ard. She whimpered against him and he allowed his hand to drift over her nipples, down her torso, to her pussy.

  She was drenched and he broke the kiss.

  “You liked that? You liked me fucking your mouth?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re so wet.”

  “Hudson…more.”

  Positioned behind her, he was still hard enough to enter her. He pressed and she leaned forward to rest her head on her tied hands. He pumped into her wetness slow and easy until he hardened fully again. Time lost all meaning. Nothing mattered but what was going to happen next.

  Allowing his thumb to trace the pucker of her ass, he asked, “Has anyone ever fucked you here?”

  “No…but I want to know what it’s like.” It was the truth. For the first time, she felt as if she could have her questions about the forbidden answered. She wasn’t going to allow the chance to pass her by.

  He spent a long time preparing her ass with his lubed fingers while he casually stroked into her wet heat with his cock. When she was slick and warm, the tightness eased a bit, and he scissored them inside her.

  Natalia heard her own panting in the quiet room.

  Hudson pulled from her body and went to wash his hands, returning with a small bowl of soapy water and a washcloth.

  “It might hurt.”

  “I know.”

  “You haven’t come yet.”

  “I’m letting it build. I do when I’m alone.”

  Without another word, he climbed back on the bed and positioned his cock at the entry of her ass. Carefully, he pushed forward and she tried – and failed – to hold back her moans until he was buried to the hilt.

  Leaning over her back, he whispered at her ear, “Your ass is squeezing my cock like a vise. Are you alright?” She nodded. “Tell me if you need me to slow down or stop.”

  He gripped her hips and pulled back, dripping more lube over his length. Then he powered forward and she screamed. Instead of stopping, he set up a steady rhythm until she was moaning and pushing back to meet his thrusts.

  “Feels incredible, Natalia. So fucking good.”

  “More.”

  With a deep breath, he took her harder. Reaching beneath her, he stroked over her folds and when he pinched her clit between his thumb and forefinger, she gasped.

  “I’m going to come. Don’t stop.”

  Stroking and pinching the little bundle of nerves, she went over the edge with a muffled scream and shoved her body back to take his cock deeper. No climax had ever been as intense because she'd never been as involved before.

  There was only a slight hesitation as he gripped her firmly and fucked her harder than she would’ve thought was physically possible.

  In moments, he was filling her with his come as her name echoed through the room.

  They stayed like that for a long time. Getting their bodies under control so they could think.

  He kissed her shoulder and she knew he was afraid to show her his reaction. He was too quiet. She smiled against her arm. This man accepted her, the real her, as she would always accept him.

  “Hudson?” She paused and said warmly. “I liked that a lot.”

  Pushing the Envelope

  Published Book

  South Florida - July 1999

  At fourteen, Tawny already gave no fucks. She didn’t care what people thought about her, there were few things she wouldn’t try at least once, and she’d heard the phrase “your poor mother” more times than she bothered to count.

  Climbing the lookout tower while she belted out her new favorite song by TLC, her best friend’s voice drifted up and blended with the sound of the wind and surf a block away. There was nothing calm about it.

  “Tawny! Tawny, if I have to call Maggie from the hospital again…”

  Choosing to ignore her wonderful – if a little stuffy – bestie, she kept climbing. Having a daughter such as herself kept Maggie young. It also prevented her mom from dwelling on the fact that she was lonely since her husband died eight years before.

  “A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fine…also known as a buster.”

  Panic came through loud and clear in Riya’s voice from forty feet below. “You get arrested one more time and she might let you rot in jail.”

  Now, that was just silly. She might give her mom a scare every now and then but the woman had the patience of an honest-to-god saint.

  “I don’t want no scrub…” Her flip-flopped foot slipped and she giggled at Riya’s horror movie scream.

  “Get down here! I’m not kidding!”

  Climbing over the railing at the top, she glanced down and waved at the brunette who looked ready to pass out from fear. She had that effect on her a lot.

  “It’s all good. See…” She did a little shimmy across the platform and watched as Riya crossed her arms, doing her best to look mad, when she was really just afraid.

  Sighing, Tawny mentally acknowledged she could be somewhat trying to the people who loved her.

  One of her last memories of her father was him saying with a smile, “You’re fearless. At six, you’re already courageous. I wonder what incredible things are going to happen in your life, Tidbit.”

  She sat on the ledge and dropped her feet over the side. Riya, somewhat appeased her friend was at least sitting, walked over to the retaining wall where they’d dropped their backpacks, took out a book, and settled down to read until her friend came to her senses.

  One day, everyone would see Tawny had things under control.

  There were few times she did something without a damn good reason. Needing time to think, she chose the one place her best friend was afraid to go. It was a tactic she only employed when thoughts in her head threatened to bubble over.

  Normally, she loved spending all her time with Riya and her awesome parents. Archer and Dalia O’Connell were the perfect couple.

  Charming, classy, and filled with a joy of life.

  Their marriage was beyond romantic but they never made Maggie feel awkward for being by herself.

  The day Edward Ratliff stepped out of his car in the driveway, waved to his wife and daughter on the porch, and dropped dead of a heart attack was burned into the back of Tawny’s mind.

  Her mother entered a state of shock and grief that lasted almost a year. She went through the motions, did everything expected of her, but she never laughed, she never smiled.

  Maggie and Dalia were best friends since they were little girls. They’d grown up together in Brooklyn and never lived more than three miles apart.

  In the end, it was Dalia who brought her through it.

  She moved Maggie and Tawny into the O’Connell home, closed up the one Maggie lived in with Edward, and submerged her in happiness and laughter until her sadness began to fade. When she was strong again, Maggie returned to her home and started fresh.

  She didn’t date but she didn’t withdraw into herself. She got better and kept moving forward for her daughter.

  The two women raised their girls together. Barely a week apart in age, Tawny and Riya were more like sisters.

  It was a thought which entered her mind often.

  A few hours before her climb, she’d gone looking for her birth certificate while Maggie was out of the house.

  In a locked box at the back of the master bedroom closet that was ridiculously easy to access, she hit pay dirt. With eyes wide, she flipped through photos she’d never seen.

  Photos of her mother with Archer O’Connell.

  It was the year Maggie and Dalia traveled to South Florida on vacation. Tawny knew it was to celebrate finishing college because she’d seen dozens of photos of the two best friends from the same trip.

  The way Maggie and Dalia told the story, it was the trip that changed their lives.

  “It was love at first sight,” both women liked to say.

  Archer and Edward were several years older than the young women. They were best friends and partners in the shipping business they started together.


  According to her mom, Maggie met Edward, Dalia met Archer, and they discovered they were pregnant when they returned home.

  Upon being told via letters the friends nervously wrote together, Archer and Edward flew to New York and promptly proposed.

  The couples were married in the fall and the daughters growing under the women’s elegant gowns didn’t show.

  Riya was born in late March and Tawny on April Fool’s Day, a fact she particularly enjoyed.

  Staring at the images of her mother with Riya’s father, she understood one thing above all else.

  For Maggie, it had been love at first sight…but not for Edward. She was clearly in love with the man beside her, her green eyes bright and happy.

  There were two pictures of Maggie and Edward she’d never seen and she could tell her mom was struggling to form a connection with a man who was obviously enamored.

  Her smile was forced, her pose stiff, and her body language was self-conscious. Other photos she’d seen must have been taken after the ones she held. In those, Maggie was relaxed and lovely as usual.

  Nothing compared to her vibrancy in the photos with Archer but Tawny never questioned the way she’d always known her mother to look.

  Seeing true happiness on her face, a happiness she’d hidden for her best friend, broke her daughter’s heart.

  Turning over her hand, she stared at the strange little freckle between her thumb and forefinger. It was like the one she’d noticed on Archer O’Connell’s hand for the first time when they’d all gone boating together.

  Carefully replacing everything exactly as she’d found it, she returned to her room to wait for Riya.

  Staring out at the water behind the house, her mind in chaos, she tried to decide what to say to the person she loved most in the world.

  “I have returned! What are we doing today?”

  Uncertain, she turned and threw out her arms. “The tower…I have to climb, I must be free! Let’s go!”

  “No…damn it, Tawny! Your mom will kill you!”

  Grabbing her backpack, she left no room for discussion and took off through the house to the beach.

  The most grounded person she knew tried to talk her out of “doing something crazy” the entire way.