Obsession: The Hollow Universe Read online

  I met Theresa’s gaze with as much certainty as I could. “My parents tried for years to have children. I have no extended family in my generation, few friends, no love life. Someday, Mom and Dad will be g-gone. I’ll be alone.”

  Even saying the words caused me pain.

  “I’ll never have the opportunity for a relationship or children in a normal situation. The legacy from my parents, the love they’ve given me, I can give that to a baby no one else would want. I can have my own small family.”

  I could feel the truth of it.

  Theresa sat on the edge of my bed and took my un-casted hand in hers. “If you change your mind within the next few weeks, you need only tell me, Ellie.”

  I nodded and squeezed her hand as tears poured down my face. I rested my head against the pillow and cried myself to sleep.

  When I woke up a long time later Theresa was gone. My door was open and I could see the edge of the black tactical gear my guards wore on either side of the entry.

  A frail elderly woman sat beside my bed in her wheelchair and I smiled at her in welcome.

  My request to be placed in the geriatric wing initially confused everyone. I explained that I didn’t want to be placed near children or other women.

  They didn’t need to be touched by the violence of my situation or frightened by the armed men stationed outside my door.

  I love older people. No matter what happens in the modern world, they can tell you first-hand stories about famine, war, and civil unrest that manages to put things in perspective.

  Not that the elderly friends I’ve made are depressing. Far from it. They lived through it all and have stories about the first television, what drive-ins were like in a ’58 Chevy convertible with your boyfriend, and how granola saved them from food poisoning during Woodstock.

  It’s distracting. Nice.

  “Hello, Mrs. Franklin.”

  “Hello, dear. You look better. How are you feeling?”

  Her fingers were warped from arthritis and her skin was pale and paper-thin. She reached out to hold my hand.

  “I’m fine. How’s your hip? And Mr. Franklin?”

  With a delicate snort, the old woman’s eyes twinkled. “My hip is on the mend. I hate not being able to get around at more than a crawl. My Richard spends all his time here. Says I’ll run off with a young orderly if he doesn’t keep an eye out.”

  She waved her hand dramatically. “I’d divorce him for his raging jealous streak but we love each other too much. Besides, if that nurse from the night shift doesn’t stop flirting with my darling, she’ll learn about my temper.”

  I had to laugh. A movement by the door drew my attention and I smiled at my parents.

  “Hello. You remember Mrs. Franklin?”

  Mom swept in to take the elderly woman’s hand and inquire after all manner of things.

  Her questions told me my parents had checked out every person currently residing or working on this floor of the hospital.

  My father approached the bed and sat beside me. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

  He took my hand and I traced my fingers over the back of his. I love his hands. They’re large and warm, more calloused than people would expect for a man of means.

  “I’m good, Dad.” I grinned, waiting for their usual push. “Are you here to try to talk me into coming home again?”

  A gentle smile touched his face. “No, Ellie. We’re taking you home. There isn’t going to be a discussion about it.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  From the corner of my eye, I watched my mother touch cheeks with Mrs. Franklin and hold the door wide as she left.

  Closing and locking it behind the elderly woman, she turned to me with a resolute expression on her face.

  I frowned. “I-I think I should finish recovering here…” Watching their faces, my voice trailed off as understanding hit. “You know.”

  The day I was moved to a private room, an iPod speaker system was placed beside the bed. They wanted me to have music, they said. I never questioned it.

  “You bugged the room. I should have known you would.”

  I closed my eyes with embarrassment and stress flaring all over my body. I felt my mother sit on the other side of my bed.

  “Ellie. Look at me, love.” The tears started falling before my lids fully lifted. “Your casts come off in three weeks. I found a positively evil physical therapist to work with you and get you back to full mobility. Theresa and her assistant will monitor you from home.”

  Dependent yet again. I murmured, “Alright.”

  Dad petted my hair. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry, Ellie.”

  “I-I want something of my own. Others might consider this child an abomination but I consider it an unexpected bright side. I need to keep this baby.”

  Mom nodded and stroked my hair. “Then keep it you shall. Our grandchild will never know a life without all the love we can give.”

  “Thank you for understanding. I doubt there’s a stupider mother-to-be but I’ll learn.”

  Her fingertips on my cheek, Mom whispered, “You’ve always been incredible with children, honey. You were amazing with Preston. He adored you.”

  I twisted my fingers in the blanket. “Thinking about him, it’s what made up my mind. He was shuffled through a broken system, hurt over and over, but he was so easy to love. This baby might be my only chance to ever be a mother.”

  The observation upset my mother. “That’s not true, Ellie…”

  “It is true. I’ve known it for a long time.”

  “You’re still so young. Give things time to happen.” Dad stroked my cheek. “Why are you alone so much?”

  I gave a small shrug. “I hate the not knowing.” I knew he understood what I meant. “Being me, I never really know.”

  Mom opened her mouth to dispute it and I smiled. “No matter how heavily you vet them, you can’t know the inner workings of someone’s mind. If you could, those men would have disappeared at the bottom of a rock quarry covered in lime.”

  “Ellie…”

  “I pled for mercy then. I asked you to give them a chance. I thought they could change and it was painfully naïve of me. I realize that now. I-I punished Hyde as horribly as myself.”

  Mom stood to pace. Suddenly she turned and said sharply, “Hyde was not raped! No one should ever experience what you went through! What you’re going to go through!”

  She gripped her hands together tightly. “Men rarely know what it means to be raped. Physical torture is horrifying. Rape goes deeper, affecting the mind and emotions. Women are expected to protect our bodies and sexual assault takes the ability out of our hands. It’s the mind that suffers most.”

  I felt as if my mother understood firsthand. I glanced at my father who stared at her with pain written on his face.

  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “I’m horrified by what Hyde endured but the brutality done to you…”

  “Don’t, Mom. Don’t think about it.”

  “Hyde would give his life for yours.”

  “I don’t want him to give his life for mine, Mom. He…my team are the only friends I have in my daily life. Losing him…them to violence would break me.”

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Now I’ll have the stigma of this. Those men took from me in ways I can’t fix, I can’t undo. I’ll always be…tainted by it.”

  The fury I felt, though not shouted, must have bled into my expression. I clenched my jaw and my good hand so tightly, the joints ached.

  My father’s rage matched my own. Like me, he kept his voice controlled and even. “Hyde and Si have taken out one of the three men, Ellie. They won’t rest until the others are dead.”

  I knew the men were being pursued. It gave me satisfaction to know Hyde was the one tracking them down.

  I met Dad’s gaze and silently asked him the question I wanted the answer to. It was something I imagined at night when I thought about the violence done to the man I loved.
r />   It should have shamed me. I thought myself civilized, kind, sometimes too influenced by the gentler emotions.

  My need for their blood did not shame me.

  He answered honestly. “He went hard. Every minute of your time in that building was repaid. He’ll never be found.”

  A smile curved my lips before I caught myself.

  My mother took my face in her hands. “Don’t you dare feel bad about wanting them to scream. I want them to pay for what they did to you, Ellie. I want them begging for mercy they’ll never get.”

  I pressed my hand against hers. “I wish their deaths guaranteed no one would know or-or remember.”

  Without warning, violent sobs consumed me. My parents held me and did what they could to soothe me.

  After a long time, I leaned back to give my parents the closest thing to a smile I could manage.

  There was something I needed to know. “Do you think H-Hyde will come back after he finds them?”

  My mother stared at me and I had the strangest sensation she saw into my soul and knew the secrets I held there.

  “I think, short of death, you’ll find it virtually impossible to shake Hyde from your side for the rest of your days. The man is committed to your safety.”

  I nodded and picked pretend lint from the blanket.

  The silence drew out for almost a minute as I wondered why he agreed to dedicate so much time to my protection. I knew his life before me was difficult, filled with loss.

  It didn’t explain why he gave up a decade of his life to guard me. My parents must have made it unbelievably lucrative.

  Mom’s tone was gentle. “Elliana, if you loved someone, if they loved you, we’d welcome that person with open arms. Without stipulations. Do you know that?”

  I took my time answering. “I used to dream about finding a love story like yours. I won’t ever have love like that.”

  Saying it made it truer than I wanted it to be.

  Dad said, “Don’t give up, Ellie. It’s early in the game.”

  “There are so few people I-I care for, that I trust. Fewer still whose company I can be easy in. When I lost Sensei Pendragon, I felt it deeply. He taught me for so long.”

  “You’ve grown close to your team,” Mom observed. “Closer than any other staff in your life.”

  I nodded. “I forget they’re staff. I forget they’re with me because I’m an assignment, a job. I try to forget. I know it sounds pathetic but I don’t care.”

  Lost in thought, I laid back on the pillows. “I have a pretend world where Bianca is my older sister. She’s more world-traveled and confident than I am. I can ask her anything without feeling stupid. She’s like a Valkyrie.”

  My mother’s hand tightened on mine.

  “Si was so patient while he taught me to cook. He laughed no matter how badly I messed up. When I accomplished Crème Brule, he bought me a pastry torch engraved with my name.”

  Of my many possessions, it was one of my favorites.

  “When I wanted to feel what it was like to ride in open air instead of behind bulletproof glass, Fiaaz brought his own bike to a closed track. He put me in tons of safety equipment and spent all day showing me.” I laughed. “I caused a lot of damage but he thought it was funny.”

  “I’m so glad I didn’t know about that, Ellie darling.” My father looked positively nauseous.

  “Padme teaches me about makeup and clothes and hair. Even when I’m a brat about it. She wants me to know so if I ever need to pull off glamorous by myself, I can. We watch romantic comedies and eat ice cream like normal friends hanging out.”

  “That sounds lovely, darling,” Mom whispered.

  “Sometimes, everyone hangs out together to watch movies. I really like that.” I shrugged and pretended my chest didn’t hurt. “Hyde…”

  Let it go, Ellie…let it go. It will never be the same now.

  My mother’s touch lifted my face. “What has he shown you?”

  “Being me doesn’t mean I can’t do normal things. I wanted to visit a fair. The exhibits, the shows, the food, the rides. It’s hard to manage a protection detail in a situation like that. A lot can go wrong. I didn’t think they’d let me go.”

  “They found a way?” my mother prompted.

  I nodded. “They put me in disguise and the team disappeared, there but out of sight, so I could enjoy the experience.”

  It was so noisy with children screaming and the sound of the rides. The air smelled like popcorn and funnel cakes.

  “They maintained a perimeter and I played games and walked the exhibits. There was a huge roller coaster set up along one whole end of the fairgrounds, a hundred feet in the air. The cars were open so Hyde went with me.”

  I looked out the window as I recalled my nervous excitement at the top, the hardness of Hyde’s shoulder, and how warm he was against my side.

  He whispered, “Hang on, Ellie.”

  Then the drop and closing my eyes with my hands in the air, wishing it could go on forever.

  I never told anyone about the fair. I wanted to share it with my parents, to help them understand how different I felt as a person, as a woman, from everyone around me.

  I gave them a half-smile. “Being with Hyde, with all of them, is the closest I’ve ever been to a regular girl.”

  Shaking myself from the memories, I inhaled deeply. “I’ll never have normal again. Not after this. I’ll work and write. With a child to pour my love into, I’ll be content.”

  “I want so much more than contentment for you, Ellie.” Mom blinked against the tears in her eyes.

  “It’s more than most people have. It will be enough.” Gathering my strength, I nodded. “I’ll return home whenever you’re ready.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Early August 2014

  It took a few days to get the equipment Theresa needed installed at home and for renovations to be completed.

  I said goodbye to my elderly friends and allowed a team of guards to push my wheelchair to the caravan of armored vehicles waiting in the hospital’s secured underground parking garage.

  The drive to the estate took twenty minutes and I used the time to maneuver a wire hanger into the top of the leg cast that extended from my thigh to my ankle.

  It was awkward because my wrist and forearm were broken on that side as well. I finally asked Padme to help.

  The relief was sublime.

  “Two more weeks, Ellie.” Her forced smile hurt my heart. “Then soft casts that can be removed at night. I’ve organized all your emails and correspondence so you don’t have to plod through weeks of crap to get to the important stuff.”

  Bianca was the only other member of my personal team in evidence during transport. Her grin was huge. “Jamie Vasquez and her little boy Ricky sent a three-page letter thanking your parents for the car and Ricky’s college fund but insisted it was unnecessary. They’re happy to hear you’re on the mend.”

  My parents sat on the opposite side of the limo. Their smiles of relief were enough to convince me that going home was the right thing to do.

  Not having me close, especially in my vulnerable condition, was worse on them. I understood that better now.

  As we turned onto the long drive leading to the main house, I absorbed the ambiance of the home where I grew up.

  It felt like years since I’d seen it.

  My eyes widened as dozens of staff members came into view beneath the overhang of the main entrance.

  I was assisted from the limo and met with cheers. The biggest man I’d ever seen came forward to lift my wheelchair, with me in it, to the landing stretched before the massive double doors.

  One by one, the people who watched me grow up came forward to take my hand or kiss my cheek.

  Mrs. Safoya, the matron of the inner domain, had been with my parents for forty years. She embraced me carefully, held my face as she kissed my cheeks.

  Her husband, combination butler and majordomo, wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pr
essed a kiss to my hair.

  They were a constant presence in my past. Almost like a second set of parents.

  They whispered of their relief to have me home. Originally from Poland, their accents were diluted by so many years in the States.

  “Cook is making your favorite tonight and blackberry tarts for dessert. A celebration that we have you back again.”

  I held them as well as I could. “Thank you. I’ve missed you.”

  Nodding, they stepped away to hide their tears. I waved to everyone else as Bianca pushed me inside.

  A suite of rooms in the rarely used east wing were updated to give me privacy. Far from the room I used as a little girl.

  In the elevator, Padme described the changes cheerfully. She wanted to disguise the fact that my freedom had been completely curtailed for the time being.

  “The apartment is lovely. Once the contractor realized your mother wanted a full kitchen and an entire room removed to expand and upgrade the bathroom, he stopped trying to upsell her. You’ll love the view of the rear gardens.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond. I lived in this house most of my life and loved it…but I doubted I’d relax anytime soon.

  She rushed on diligently. “I set up your office, of course. Dr. Spellman has her office and suite across the hall, her assistant next door to her. The lab is steps away so you don’t have to go back and forth to the hospital.”

  I gave her a break. “Padme. It’s fine…I’m fine. I’ll recover and my parents need reassurance that I’m safe. I miss running and riding. I miss…”

  I stopped myself just in time.

  Padme and Bianca shared a look over my head and I was glad I hadn’t completed my thought.

  Entering the apartment, Fiaaz was there to greet me with a bow before taking my good hand and kissing the back.

  I suspected he and Bianca were in a relationship but could never bring myself to ask them. They often rode together and groomed the horses Fiaaz stabled on the estate.

  Breathtaking Arabians he agreed to breed for my father.

  I knew more about Padme and Hyde than the rest of my team but I’d love to know every minute of all their lives.