Obsession: The Hollow Universe Read online

  Exiting the kitchen, Mom approached me slowly. I was probably broadcasting my inner chaos.

  “It’s alright, Ellie. It’s going to happen all the time now.” As if on cue, it did and I fidgeted. “Don’t be afraid, honey.”

  My dad appeared from the other side of the garden. Standing side by side, my parents put their hands gently on my stomach.

  I flinched. “I-I’m sorry.”

  “No one here will ever hurt you, Ellie. No one.” Dad kissed my hair. A moment later, the baby moved again. “There it was! Did you feel that, Monica?”

  He sounded so happy. Mom nodded and her beaming smile went a long way to lifting some of the weight from my heart.

  “Ellie,” Padme said gently, “are you alright? You’re pale and trembling.”

  “I-I don’t know anything. I’m going to fail.” Then to my utter humiliation, I hyperventilated and passed out.

  I didn’t need to ask who managed to catch me before I splattered my pregnant body on the cobblestones.

  Hyde always caught me.

  * * *

  I woke up being carried down the hall to my apartment, Hyde’s face above me. I knew I was shaking badly.

  He looked down. “I’d never hurt you, Ellie.”

  “I know. I know that, Hyde.”

  “Jonas. I’m Jonas.”

  It was the first time one of the brothers said their name to me and it made my heart hurt even as I appreciated what felt like a clue to a mystery I hadn’t known to solve.

  I didn’t know what to say and swallowed hard.

  As we approached my apartment, his twin held the door. I started to speak and closed my lips in confusion.

  “I’m Jordan, Ellie.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded.

  As we entered my suite, Bianca jumped up from the sofa and opened my bedroom door. Hyde…Jonas laid me gently on my bed and Bianca fussed over me.

  Ten minutes later, the Hydes stood on either side of my door inside the room as Theresa walked in pushing a portable ultrasound machine. My parents followed in her wake.

  “I hear the little one’s moving around. Let’s see if we can determine the gender of your tiny tenant.”

  I focused on my stomach, afraid to meet the eyes of anyone in the room. Theresa lifted my shirt to under my breasts and smeared goo on my slightly rounded abdomen.

  A wide wand was run over me and after thirty seconds, the doctor smiled. She leaned over to raise the volume of the machine and a clear heartbeat thumped through the room.

  I gasped and my mother took my hand. I gripped the linens under me in a white-knuckled fist.

  “So far so good. Excellent size, normal growth. Look at that! You’re turning for me. What a good baby. It’s a girl, definitely a girl, Ellie.”

  “A little girl?” I whispered and Theresa nodded. “A daughter. Th-that’s…better.”

  My parents understood. The chance a little boy would grow up to look like his biological father was too much to think about without screaming.

  Theresa took several measurements. “Ellie, I’d like to do an amniocentesis to make sure there are no other issues from medications but all signs indicate a healthy pregnancy.”

  I told her to go ahead and she had Adam hold the ultrasound wand while she inserted a long needle into my belly. I watched the vial fill with the murky water surrounding the baby.

  “This will help me determine if there are any abnormalities. I honestly don’t foresee anything but better safe than sorry.”

  When it was done, Adam rushed to wipe my stomach which made me fist my hands on my bed.

  “Adam, let Theresa do that.”

  “Oh, I don’t mind! Almost done!”

  “Adam!” I shrieked. Each of the Hyde brothers took one of his hands and lifted them carefully but firmly away from my skin. “Please don’t touch me.”

  Seeing his stricken expression, I tried to soften my words through gritted teeth. “I d-don’t like to be touched.”

  Jonas and Jordan moved him further from the bed and released him. A light seemed to go on in the man’s expression.

  “Oh, yes…I’m sorry, Ellie. That was thoughtless of me.”

  Theresa cleaned me up and asked if I had any questions. I assured her I didn’t because I wanted Adam out of my personal space. Within a few minutes, she and her medical assistant were gone and my parents sat side by side on the bed.

  My mom picked up my hand. “Are you alright?”

  “I-I almost struck him. I wanted to hurt him. I barely stopped myself.” I pressed the heels of my palms to my eyes.

  “You’re under a lot of stress, Ellie,” Dad said gently. “Theresa can bring in a female assistant. She’ll understand.”

  “No. It would give weakness power. I can handle it.”

  “If you change your mind, tell me.” Shaking his head, Dad added, “A man who makes you uncomfortable doesn’t belong around you, honey.”

  Mom brushed my hair away from my face. “I bought you some books. I think they’ll help you understand what you’re going through and explain what’s coming.”

  Dad grinned. “You’re due in March. We’ll have everything ready.” Tilting his head, he asked, “Do you want a nanny?”

  “I’m not sure about a nanny yet. I need to get the room next door ready. There are things I’m supposed to do.”

  Mom laughed. “That room is filled with a ridiculous amount of stuff already. I’ll have a decorator come in. Do you have a theme in mind?”

  “Something happy, cheerful. No wall-to-wall pink.”

  They sat talking for a long time about everything and nothing. It took my mind off the stress and uncertainty rocketing through my system.

  It was pleasant and relaxing.

  Jonas and Jordan stood still and quiet by the door. Looking at my parents, I could still sort of watch them. I felt better with them there.

  I wondered how to tell them apart.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Late November 2014

  The next two months passed without incident.

  I kept up the swimming and Mom brought in an instructor who taught me yoga and tai chi that was safe for the baby.

  I focused on my writing and worked behind the scenes with our charities.

  Occasionally, random aches took me by surprise but Theresa reminded me I was still healing and carrying a baby.

  “Your body is serving you well, all things considered.”

  I didn’t want the outside world to know I was pregnant so I didn’t leave the house. I wouldn’t have my child carry the stigma of her conception for the rest of her life.

  My folks brought in a team of attorneys who created confidential documents regarding the artificial insemination I’d supposedly had done.

  The birth certificate would list father unknown but when my daughter asked one day, I’d tell her how badly I wanted a child and couldn’t wait to find the perfect dad for her.

  Should anyone in the media ever uncover the deeply buried story of my attack, they’d receive the same explanation.

  She was now and always my child, my little girl.

  Thanksgiving at Elysian Fields saw the arrival of all my parents’ closest friends. Men and women I loved, who loved me.

  Everyone raged over my progress and hugged me as tight as my expanding belly allowed.

  Hudson and Natalia visited for two days but explained they couldn’t stay away from New York too long because of a friend who was recovering from a hit-and-run.

  I was awed at the engagement ring on Natalia’s finger and stared at it unblinking for almost a minute.

  “I’m excited, stunned, happy beyond belief, and so many other emotions that I can’t adequately express myself.”

  For half an hour, I grilled the old friends, now a new couple about the circumstances that brought them together at last.

  They told me of their ingénue and I was madly curious.

  “You’d love our Brie. When you’re past all the chaos, I need to
bring you out for a long visit.” She added in a whisper, “I’m terrified of children but Brie is a natural. We have a lot to catch up on. Now I’m going to let Hudson interrogate you privately.”

  “Uh…”

  “I’ve already received the third degree, as did Leo. It’s your turn, Ellie. Chin up, darling!”

  Hudson took in my pair of identical bodyguards standing a mere foot behind me. “I have many questions,” he said stoically.

  I laughed. “I can imagine.”

  Glaring at them over my shoulder, he ordered, “I wish to speak to Ellie. Stop hovering. Give us ten feet.” When the Hydes hesitated, he growled, “I’m capable of guarding her for two minutes in this fortified castle.”

  With a sound of obvious displeasure, I watched the Hydes walk away to stand beside Hudson’s long-time bodyguard.

  “Leonard was unaware of this little development. That displeases me.”

  “Don’t blame Leo. They lived with me for five years and I didn’t know either.” His expression was intense. “It’s okay, Hudson. I trust him…them implicitly.”

  “Hmm. You appear to be telling the truth. Should that change, I expect a call.”

  “Of course.” I leaned up to kiss his cheek and he bent to meet me. At his ear, I said, “Life is endlessly full of surprises. I’m so proud you made her yours at last, Hudson.”

  “Thank you.” Leaning back, he petted my hair. “You feel alright?” I nodded. “After the dust settles, stay in the building for a few weeks and let us spoil you.”

  He hugged me with a gentle smile I doubted most people had the chance to see on his face. Then he glared at the Hydes and they reappeared at my back.

  “A steady hand on the reins, Ellie. I’ll stop monopolizing your attention but plan a visit. We’re greedy for your time. Natalia is correct. You’d get along well with Brie.”

  Laughing, I hugged him again and let my dad pull me away to introduce me to several new members of corporate staff that worked in my division.

  As I feared and expected, several of my mother’s friends asked to speak to me away from the party. Hyde escorted us to the library and started to leave so we could talk privately.

  Unthinking, I grabbed the hand of the brother closest to me. Dropping it instantly, they stared at me before taking up positions inside the room on either side of the door.

  As conflicted as I was about my bodyguard, his presence always reminded me that I was strong.

  I needed that reminder now.

  The much older women belonging to Mom’s inner circle asked pointed, often uncomfortable, questions about the child I carried in my body.

  My skin was hot, I shook, and my voice trembled…but I answered them honestly. In the process, I cleared an emotional hurdle I dreaded for months.

  “It’s…the circumstances aren’t ideal. Of course, they’re not.” I placed my palms over my belly. “A silver lining. That’s what she is. I want her to feel loved and welcomed.”

  Sarah took my hand. “I had four miscarriages before Cameron was born. I’d do the same in your place, Ellie. No question.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “Is it, the baby, healthy?” Nelinda was a younger neighbor of Mom’s when they were little. They shared several joint business ventures and she was a woman I admired. Unlike Mom and so many of her friends, Nelinda was quiet and studious like me. “Are you worried about her…genetically?”

  “So far, so good. I’m as certain as any expectant mother. There are never guarantees.”

  Never married with no children, she whispered, “I was always too afraid for any of it. I’m glad you’re not like that, Ellie. You’re brave and beautiful.” She patted my hand. “If you need anything, you let me know.”

  I nodded, relieved.

  Lydia was married to my father’s best friend. My parents were matron of honor and best man at their wedding. She was genteel but louder than some people could handle.

  “Girl, get yourself a husband and put all the whispers to bed! No need for you to go through this alone. A sweet man will add another layer of protection, and say this little baby is his. Just the ticket. I can make you a list of eligible men whose family fortunes could benefit from such an alliance.”

  The suggestion didn’t surprise me. These women were two generations ahead of me and the world was very different when they were my age.

  It was a shock that my mom answered the question for me.

  “Ellie has a delicate heart that deserves a husband who loves her deeply, madly. Until she has such a man in her life, she’ll be a single mother.” She smiled at me. “I have no doubt she’ll excel at this as she does everything else.”

  I nodded at her and there were so many emotions in my heart.

  “I don’t understand why you’d do this, Elliana!” My great-aunt Margaret was a good woman but I never doubted she’d be the strongest critic of my choice. “To let the product of those beasts grow in your body…to raise that constant memory!”

  Taking her frail hand in mine, I kept my voice calm. “She didn’t hurt me, Aunt Maggie.” I perched on the table beside her wheelchair. “She’s as innocent as I am in all of this.”

  Eyes that were so like Mom’s and mine teared up. “You need to forget…forget. A-a baby will never let you.”

  “I can’t forget but I can take something beautiful from it.” I placed her hand on my stomach and my daughter moved as if on cue. “A child to love, who’ll love me.”

  “I remember the first time you moved in Monica’s belly.” Maggie smiled softly. “She cried for an hour in happiness.”

  For almost a minute, we sat in silence. She lifted her other hand and placed both on my belly to better feel the way my baby adjusted for comfort.

  “I’m scared for you, Elliana.”

  “I know. I have moments where I’m scared for me, too. I have Mom and Dad, my team, and this baby. I’ll do the best I can.”

  Smoothing her palms over me, she nodded and folded her hands in her lap. “I expect to see her on my birthday.”

  Grinning, I replied, “I’ve never missed a birthday, Aunt Maggie. Katie won’t either.”

  Her eyes widened. “You’re naming her after Mother?” I nodded and tears slipped over her soft cheeks. Sniffing, she added, “Every birthday, Elliana. However many I have left.”

  “You have my word.”

  The other women had questions but I felt as if the worst ones were behind me. Mom and Vera were there for moral support but let me navigate the situation on my own.

  They wouldn’t always be there and all of us knew that.

  I stood and faced half a dozen women over fifty who’d known my mother most of her life and me for all of mine.

  “I know this situation is…painful and confusing. I need your help to protect my daughter. All my life, you’ve been fixtures of strength and steadiness for me to emulate. I hope you can extend your love and protection.”

  Inhaling deeply, I added, “Without conditions. No matter how she came to be, she’s my child, my daughter, and I want you to see her that way. To see her as an extension of me, n-not the rest of it.”

  There were hugs and whispered assurances. So many tears as these women processed the changes in my world.

  In the end, they gave their word and offered their substantial power to protect my child and her future.

  As I knew they would.

  One by one, they filed from the room until it was only my mother who remained.

  I lowered to the sofa and she perched beside me and smoothed her fingers over my cheek.

  “Well done, Ellie.” Her voice was quiet. “Would you like a few minutes to get your balance?”

  “Mm hmm.” I didn’t trust myself to speak.

  Leaning close, she kissed my forehead and left the room. I sat staring at the rows of books my parents painstakingly collected.

  I did what I could to steady my breathing and my thoughts. Half an hour later, Padme tapped softly on the door and Hyde open
ed it.

  “Dinner shortly, Ellie. Shall I make excuses?”

  Standing, I shook my head. I wiped my fingertips over my face and smoothed my hair. Straightening my dress, I approached the door the Hydes held wide for me.

  I didn’t look at them but murmured, “Thank you for staying.”

  Together, they replied, “Of course, Ellie.”

  We assembled in the formal dining room that was rarely used in the center of the house. Guests took their seats and I was glad to see my team seated around me.

  My closest friends, the people who probably knew me better than my parents. I gave thanks for their presence, their gentleness, their constancy.

  For the Hyde brothers on either side of me, I gave thanks that they survived an event that could have taken them from me.

  Before I even knew there were two.

  No matter the strain that lingered between us, I loved them still. I would love them always.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  December 2014

  The holidays were something my parents took seriously. All month, friends and relatives arrived for visits.

  Some of them weren’t part of our inner group of trusted people so I kept my head up and answered questions with prepared statements.

  After a while, I didn’t even have to think about them.

  On Christmas Eve, the long-time staff at the estate presented me with gifts for my daughter culled from my own childhood. I imagined they dug through the many storage trunks of keepsakes in the attic.

  The results were spectacular. A quilt of memories, sewn by hand, created from my old Halloween costumes, ballet outfits, and formal gowns. A shadow box containing awards, ribbons I’d won, and photos of special moments in my life.

  The thoughtfulness of gifts for my unborn daughter made me cry like a fool for twenty minutes. Their kindness left me speechless.

  My parents gave me the deed to a small refurbished castle in Ireland. “You’ll want time away from here eventually and we thought, with your writing, you might get lots of novel ideas in such a place. Your staff provided valuable input on security. We couldn’t leave them out of the loop.”